What makes you happy?

 I was talking to a friend last night. We haven’t spoken for a while and, as usual, got to talking about earning a living and he was telling me that he’s got a kiosk open at the moment and that he’s making decent money. More than he normally would be earning at this time of year.

I asked him whether, as he was getting a living now, was he going to keep it there or will he be travelling on fairgrounds when he’s allowed.

His reply was travelling on fairgrounds, even if he takes less money. “Why?” I asked.

“I can’t wait to get back on a ground, to be able to do my jobs in the morning, to walk out and have a chat with the other men on the ground, to be able to visit all the places they normally do, to be able to nip into town in and go to the pub for a bit of dinner.”

The upshot of our conversation was that no amount of money would make him feel better than being able to do the thing he loves. He loves the social side of travelling at fairs more than the money he earns.

And really, at the end of the day isn’t that more important.

I was reading recently that people are happier when they earn more money but only until they reach a certain point. But the upshot of that is that we trade our time for that money.

I’ve worked hard, long hours for most of my life and in general, I enjoy what I do, but when I had my run-in with the lodger on my kidney 4 years ago, I worried about whether I would live to see my next birthday and how many more times I’d get to see my sons. Money and the acquisition of it didn’t come into my thinking once.

In one of my blogs recently, I talked about having plenty of money not making you immune to problems and stress in your life and I stand by that.

And while we all need money, we probably don’t need to be earning as much as we think.

To be honest, all we really need is enough to look after ourselves, have a drink with our friends and a holiday every now and again.

Whilst earning plenty of money may enable us to drive high end cars, stay in swanky hotels and fly first class, do they really bring us more happiness?

Working every hour God sends doesn’t make for happiness. In Germany, if you’re still in the office after 6pm, they say it’s because you’re not productive enough during the day. In the Netherlands, over half the workers work a four day week.

It seems to me that driving a nice Mercedes may be nicer than driving a 17 year old Ford Mondeo (which is what I do), but having to work even harder to buy one wouldn’t make me happier – In the UK, only 36% of people buy their cars outright. The rest lease or buy via a loan.

To me, that just makes no sense. I’d rather have my car, which has given me trouble-free motoring since I bought it 5 years ago than 2 or 3 years worth of payments.

I’ve bought 2 cars in my 35 years of driving that had payments attached and I really begrudged paying month by month for something that was only worth half of the sum I’d spent on them 2 years earlier.

And not for one moment do I think that when I’m on my deathbed, will I be thinking that I wish I’d worked harder to have had nicer things. Stuff never has made me happy in the long term.

It’s always nice at the beginning, but that wears off really quickly. Don’t get me wrong, having nice things is nothing to be ashamed of. If I had plenty of money, I’d live in a nicer house, drive a better car and take better holidays, but they aren’t the be-all and end-all for me.

Work can, and often does bring you professional fulfilment. But as my friend proved to me last night, true happiness is doing things you enjoy and being around the people you care for. And usually, they’re not work or wealth associated.

Thanks for reading. If you like this blog and want to read more, sign up for the weekly newsletter and feel free to invite your friends along to check out and bookmark the blog, because after all, the more, the merrier!

Want to be happier? Turn off the News

I was thinking about this lockdown the other day and I’ve realised just how much I’ve enjoyed it since last March.

In that time, I’ve picked up my signwriting brushes again and done some signs, I bought some paint pens and started drawing and designing, I bought some new software from my PC and started designing on that and it has lead me to starting a new business.

Would that have happened had there not been the first Lockdown? No.

During this second lockdown, I decided to start trying to develop better habits than I used to have. And one of them was to start writing on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter what it is, but to write something.

I already knew that I use writing to help me to clarify things in my mind, so I knew that it would help. Now I’ve discovered how much I actually like writing.

It’s the same with designing prints. I’ve set myself a challenge to make a new one each and every day.

My days are more full and I’m enjoying the process of being productive.

And do you know what I attribute this state of mind to? Turning off the News! 

You don't really need to hear, "Hello, and here's this evening's dose of death and destruction," do you? Especially if you've heard it over and over again for weeks and weeks.

The news just pushes negative into your life. Agenda-driven journalists don’t cover what’s going on, they slant their questions to put the interviewee on the spot.

And you can watch it hour after hour, day after day. Let me ask you a question. How does it make you feel?

Do you feel energised? Do you feel at ease? Does it make you feel happy?

Of course, it doesn’t. When I was watching the news, I’d get wound up like a coiled spring. I’d get frustrated. I’d be so angry that it would be all I’d talk about.

I’d go on Social Media and see all the experts sharing their knowledge. You know the one’s who were experts on racism in the summer, and Brexit before that. Or as my Dad used to call them ‘Know-all Nothings.’

Argument after argument ensues. Then we watch the news, and the story is relaunched at us again. They make the situation worse by using hindsight, which is of course 20/20 to make the interviewee look bad.

Is it any wonder we’re all angry?

Then we pick up the paper to read yesterday’s news which we’d already been stewing all over because our tellies are tuned into Sky News or BBC news with its non-stop negativity.

And we get angrier and angrier. It's a continuing circle

Here’s a quick and simple solution – turn the telly off and stop reading the newspaper.

You’ll still find out what’s going on because whoever you talk to, be it on the phone, on zoom, on social media or even across the path when you’re on a walk. It’s still the only topic of conversation for most people.

I’m pretty sure that even though I’ve not watched the news for almost a year, I know what the situation is at the moment.

The only difference between me and all those other people is that I’m not choosing to have it driven down my throat every hour of the day.

Not much really changes on a day to day basis. I’m still locked down. Like you, I haven’t seen my family for ages. My only breaths of fresh air are when we go out for a walk.

But those hours I’ve not spent glued to the box in the corner means that I’ve had time to do things that I like to do.

Yes, just like you I get bored, and just like you, I want to go and see my family and friends. And every now and again, I want to be a couch potato and sit in front of the telly all day.

What I’ve discovered by turning the news off, however, is that for me, my life has been remarkably stress-free compared to most people I’ve talked to.

And I truly believe it’s because I’m not watching the continuing negative input and I’m not tuned into the minute by minute bashing that goes on.

I’m as affected by the situation as everybody else but I’m no way as miserable and angry as so many others.

I promise I’m not gloating or bragging. I’m just sharing something I’ve discovered by turning the news off.

And if it’s working for me, it can work for you too. I’ve found ways to fill my days that makes me feel as though I’m doing something worthwhile.

The lockdown has been a hindrance but it’s also given me the opportunity to do things I’d never have done otherwise.

We’re going through a period of our lives that has changed the way we live. We can choose to do with our days what we want, obviously within the parameters available at the moment. 

I get to stay at home with Debz and Niall. I’ve got time to spend with her that we wouldn’t have normally. We’d never have the chance to walk in a normal situation. It’s good because we talk all the time we’re out.

I’m also getting to spend time doing things I like doing, and I’ve discovered new things that I enjoy, such as writing.

Yes, I still sit in front of the telly. However, it never crosses our minds to put the news on – we’ve got DVD box sets of things we like. We hunt for things that we enjoy on the TV and we don’t watch anything that makes us feel bad, like the News.

Go on, I dare you. Don’t watch the news. Don’t read the paper. Cut down your time on Social Media so you don’t have to see all the arguments and opinions.

Keep away from the news and I’ll bet within a week, you’ll start to feel less stressed.

And who knows, you may discover that there are things you’d rather do or like to try.

It’s a win/win.

You can always turn the news back on if you’re not feeling miserable enough.

Thanks for reading. If you like this blog and want to support it, sign up for the newsletter and feel free to invite your friends along to check out the blog, because after all, the more, the merrier!