The Waltons, should I?

 I think I must have been one of the few people who never saw an episode of ‘The Waltons.’

I kind of knew what it was about. I knew about the “Goodnight John-Boy...” endings because so many people used to say about them.

I know it ran for almost 10 years but only because today, I watched a documentary about the programme. It ran for over 200 episodes.

The main reason I don’t think I watched it was because my parents didn’t. I was 12 when it started and for most of the year, we were open in the evenings with our arcade and so it wasn’t something we watched when it started.

And I assume that because we didn’t see it at the beginning, my parents never bothered with it afterwards. It wasn’t like today when you could catch up. I just figure it wasn’t for them.

And as the years go by, it never really interested me because from what I heard about it, it was a bit schmaltzy, and as I teen, I didn’t want to appear as someone who’d watch something like that.

It was going to be Kojack, Starsky and Hutch or Hawaii  5-0, something that a teenage boy was going to find exciting.

And that didn’t change in later years either because whenever I heard people say that it was being repeated on the telly, I just laughed and said there’s no way I be watching that!

I was the same way about shows like ‘Little House On The Prairie.’ As much as I liked ‘Little Joe’ on ‘Bonanza,’ I wasn’t watching that.

And as you may be able to tell, I spent the next years avoiding any program like that if it appeared on our screens, nostalgic twaddle that it was.

But it’s funny how time changes us.

Last year during the lockdown, we were looking talking about things we used to watch when we were younger and Debz started telling me about ‘Anne Of Green Gables’ and how much she’d liked it.

I was online looking to buy some DVDs to watch. I like collect box sets. I’m not one to want to buy or rent and stream series. I’d rather have the physical DVDs. After all, if the place where you stream them from drops the programmes or films, even if you’ve paid for them, they’re gone.

Besides that, a lot of the streaming sites don’t have the things I want to see – or they’re as much to stream as I could buy the DVDs for. I digress.

Anyway, I looked for ‘Anne Of Green Gables’ as I thought Debz would like to see it again. I found it, purchased it and a few days later, it arrived.

I knew Debz was going to love it, but I was expecting to be bored out of my brains watching it.

I couldn’t have been more wrong! It turns out that I quite like a schmaltzy, wholesome programme. I didn’t realise that there’s something nice about a feel-good innocent hour of viewing.

I found myself looking forward to seeing the next episode. And by the end of the series, I was hooked.

I then went looking for the follow up to ‘Anne Of Green Gables’ and came across ‘Anne of Avonlea,’ which I enjoyed as well.

Either, these were much better than I imagined they would be, or I’ve changed as a person as I’ve got older. It’s probably a combination of both because I can remember a time I wouldn’t have watched if you’d paid me.

And then via Netflix, we discovered ‘Anne With An E.’ Once again another excellent series.

And that brings us to where I find myself today.

Yes I still love my cop shows, I still love a whodunit, I still like a good political drama but now I’ve fallen for these shows that I sometimes watch and find myself gulping and wiping a tear away as I get engrossed.

I’m now thinking that perhaps if I can find the DVDs, it’s time to find out about ‘The Waltons.’

In these times we find ourselves living in, watched some innocent, heart-warming and uplifting telly isn’t such a bad thing.

I’ve found that now I’m getting a taste for shows like this and ‘The Darling Buds Of May.’

I’m not sure it’s going my ‘street cred’ any good though!

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Things to be grateful for

As we're locked down again for the foreseeable, and it's so easy to moan and groan about the situation we're in, I'm going to look to find things to be grateful for. I think that will make this time more bearable.

I don't know how many things I'll be able to find but I can start off with an easy one. 

I've got to be grateful that even though Debz tested positive for Covid 19 on Boxing Day, apart from having the same symptoms you'd get if you had a bad cold, she generally didn't feel too bad,

She has two cousins who've been affected badly by the virus and have had to be put into a coma in order to help them recover! So things could have been a lot worse.

On top of that, I don't appear to have caught any of the symptoms either. I'm really happy about that.

All in all, apart from having to Quarantine it's been fine.

I spoke about our friend Bridget in an earlier blog and throughout our 'locked-in' period she was in touch doing more shopping for us an even the day before we'd finished it, checking to see that whether we needed anything. 

We're both so grateful to her for keeping us stocked up. That saved us a whole load of worrying about food. 

We're very lucky to have her as a friend.

And finally this week, I am so grateful I've got room in our house for my office. Back when I was doing radio, it was a studio. You can see my old microphone stand behind one of the monitors.

Back then I used to have three computers running along with the record deck, a cassette and a mini-disc player, but since I stopped back in 2017, I've not really used the other PCs.

I do however still spin a few records when the mood strikes me. 

I love having my bookcase so close to me. I try to read everyday and my business books are in here alongside others.

I've still got plenty of records to listen to inside the cupboards.

This is where I pretty much spend my days. It's where I keep up to date with most things. As you can see, I may have three computers, but I still have plenty of notepads and scribbled on pieces of paper - a paperless office, this is certainly not!

My office is my little domain - I'm really grateful to have it. It's the hub of all my activities and it's where I plan my next dastardly scheme for World domination hahaha!

I've got plenty to be grateful for.

Let me know what you've got to be grateful for. I'd love to hear! It's way better than moaning...and you know how good I am at that!

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What YouSay When You Talk To Your Self...

Over the years, I’m pretty much convinced that I’ve been my own worst enemy. And I’d go as far as to say that the same applies to you.

And here’s why I think this is the case. Have you ever found yourself thinking any of the following; “ I can’t do that.” “I wish I could talk to people like ......... does? I’m rubbish at that.” “I’m useless.” “I’m fat.” “I’m no good at...” “I can’t.” The list is ongoing and endless.

The one I’ve been most guilty of is comparing myself to others. I’ve got a brother-in-law who can walk into a room and be talking to a stranger as though they’ve been friends for years. I’ve never been comfortable doing that. If I’m in a room full of people I don’t know, I’m always hovering around the edges.

When I was a teenager, my cousin was taller, more confident and better looking than me. I used to watch the girls flock around him and it made me feel like I was third grade. Can you relate to that?

It took me years to recognize that the reason I felt inferior to others was that I spent all my time telling myself that I was. I’d watch others and compare myself, and pretty much all of the time it was unfavourably.

It was also unfairly. We don’t know what other people’s situations are. On the outside, they may appear to be confident and have it all under control but what I’ve found is that they’re not perfect, and they have their own insecurities too. I think we all go through that, especially when we’re young.

It was in the 1990s that someone told me about a book called ‘What To Say When You Talk To Yourself.’

I thought that it was a silly title. After all, we don’t go around talking to ourselves all day, do we? People would look at us and think we were mad! But the truth is we do. Just not out loud.

When I was told about this book, I was sceptical. The reason being, I’d not long lost my business, and at the time, myself and my wife we eating beans on toast regularly so that we could feed our kids properly. We were doing everything to keep our heads out of the water, whilst at the same time I was beating myself up in my thoughts all day, even though, I didn’t realise I was doing it. I remember thinking, how was talking to myself going to improve things?

Outwardly, I was trying to move on, trying to rebuild our lives and yet I couldn’t see that actually, I was a fighter, striving to improve. All I could see was a loser, trying to pretend he wasn’t.

I read the book but didn’t take a lot of it on board on the first reading. 30 years later, I’ve probably read the book 10 – 15 times, each time accepting a little bit more, that the content in the book made sense and that by changing what I said to myself in my thoughts, I could improve.

It’s one of life’s mysteries as to how we believe it when we think negatively of ourselves and say that “we wouldn’t be able to...,” and yet we can’t believe ourselves when we tell ourselves, “we can.”

It took me into my well 50s to start to like myself and accept me for who I am. I eventually stopped telling myself what I couldn’t do because when I looked back over the years, I amazed myself at what I had done.

I realised that even though I’d been skint a few times, had lost a business and had to sell everything I had around me to not become a bankrupt, even though I beat myself up every day for years and thought of myself as a victim in the years that followed, and while all this was going on, I’d joined a hospital radio station and within 18 months was Chairman of the station and found myself mixing with the top people at the hospital in question.

Also, having taken my eldest son to watch a football match at our local football club, within 3 years, I’d joined the supporter’s club, become a committee member and then Chairman and also was invited onto the Board of Directors having guided the Supporter’s Club to raise the most money they’d ever raised, up until that time, in their history. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t do it all, many people contributed, but I did the majority of the planning and organising.

And at the same time as all this was going on, I was trying to build a new business at the same time.

I didn’t realise I had qualities that I didn’t know I’d possessed because I’d never had cause to use them before. And they weren’t apparent to me until another of the director’s who was a multi-millionaire company owner made me aware of them one day.

None of us knows the qualities and capabilities we have until we’ve used them without realising. I’ve not achieved anything close to many of my friends but that doesn’t matter. I’m travelling on my own road. I’m not in competition with them. I am in competition though, with myself. I’m aiming to be a better me than I was a year ago, a week ago, yesterday.

My greatest quality is that I’m open to learning. I made a pact with myself that I would never give up trying to be a better me.

My point of all this isn’t to boast that I’m someone special because I’m not.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m average. I’m better than that. I didn’t at one time think so but I do now. Why? Because a man who became a mentor to me once said, “Average is the top of the bottom, the bottom of the top, the cream of the crap!” Outspoken I know, but it rang a bell with me for some reason – at the time I felt like I was at the bottom and I didn’t want to be there anymore.

We’re all born with no skills, no attitudes, no negativity. We all start in the same place. If we all start in the same place, who’s to say where you can end up?

I love to see successful people. They do different things but they all have some similar qualities. I try to learn from them. I’m sure that we can improve ourselves just a tiny bit at a time. I try to pick up little tips from them and use them to get a tiny bit better than I was. And then find another.

And I sincerely believe if we can change our thinking, change the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves, then with effort and persistence, we can all get better. We can all be prouder of ourselves. And that’s an admirable position to be in.

It’s not about wealth, it’s not about fame because in the end they don’t matter.

In my opinion, the only person whose opinion of you matters is the person you face in the mirror each day. It doesn’t matter if your family and friends admire you if you don’t like yourself.

It’s taken me until now to realise that I actually like myself and who I am. I like my ethics, I like that I’m still striving to be better. I like that I’m still trying new things. I’m not where I want to be yet. I doubt I’ll ever get there.

I now like the person in my mirror. He’s been through a lot over the years. And he’s got to the point where when he talks to himself, he’s stopped telling himself how useless he is and now realises he’s actually way better than he used to think. And he knows that there’s still more to come.

A lot of the things I’ve learned along the way came from reading ‘What To Say When You Talk To Yourself’. I understood its principles a little more each time I read it. I’ve picked up something different each reading, something that has helped me realise I’m better than I spent years thinking I was. I’ve read that book so many times, it’s falling to pieces.

I’m aware that I’m improving. And I’m convinced that if I can do that, anyone else can as well. You’ll be in a fight with yourself and some of the time you’ll lose but there is a turning point.

I remember mine succinctly. And when you reach it and draw the line in the sand and tell yourself that you’re not going back over it, you’re on your way.

You will stumble, you will take the wrong path occasionally, but when the will is strong enough, the facts no longer matter. When you’re ready and make that decision, you’ve already won. You’ve just got to keep going.

In conclusion, what you say to yourself matters more than you realise. It’s not the only thing you’ll need to change along the way and it won’t be easy. But it’s worth it.

My hope is that it doesn’t take you as long as it’s taken me.

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Tracking my habits

 Finally, we're out of quarantine. Just in time for lockdown!

But all is not lost. At least we've been able to get out for a walk today. We wore our masks while we were out just to make sure that even if we passed someone outside the 2 meters, we weren't likely to breathe on them. The last thing we want to do is pass this virus on, even if it didn't really affect us - the next person may not have been so lucky.

In my New Year blog, talked about how I was going to attempt to track some new habits I wanted to put in place in order for me to achieve more this year.

I've kept it at the forefront of my mind since the New Year started and I've tried to put a routine in place.

Sadly though, I'm notorious for planning to do things and often not getting around to it. And so, in order to give my self a reminder, I've designed a little sign that I can frame and put up in my office as a visual reminder.

Years ago, I read a book by the writer Zig Ziglar, in which he talked about people who never got around to doing what they said they would, so he changed his business cards to a design that would be a good reminder and he changed the shape of his business cards to a circle and had the word TUIT printed across the middle of it. Everyone he gave his business card to, now had a 'round tuit'. So when someone said that there was something they were going to do when they got around to it, he gave them a card and said something along the lines of, "Here you go, now you've got a 'round tuit.' You can get on with it now.

And so that's what I did this morning for myself. I'm going to put it somewhere that I can see it every day to keep me on track with the habits I want to instil.

So how am I doing so far? Really well I have to say. The only areas I haven't completed so far, are the walking one as we've been in quarantine up until yesterday so we weren't allowed out. So one of the first things on the agenda was to go for a walk this morning, which we did.

I also wanted to start getting back into my healthy eating regime as I've started to put weight on again since we finished our Slimming World course last year.

I did fine until yesterday. The seal on our oven door somehow managed to split in half and instead of cooking food, the heat escaped through the seal and instead of having a cooked meal, we ended up with the hottest kitchen in our road!

And because we had nothing out of the freezer to prepare, we ended up ordering fish and chips to be delivered. I don't know how many syns the fish and chips was but I've written it down as more than I'm allowed and so that column became a fail.

And do you remember how I said I was going to try and kerb my frivolous spending habit? Even though we've been in quarantine, I still have access to online retailers and because of that, I'm still able to spend money on spur of the moment purchases.

So far this week, I've seen a couple of things that I'd normally have bought. But because I'm crossing off that part of the tracker, it was at the forefront of my mind.

What that means in actual fact, is that I'm £30 to the good. So this morning I've been to an ATM machine and drawn £30 out and I'm now putting it toward something I really want.

As you can see from the photo below, the tracking for me is working quite well.

However, I'm well aware we're only 6 days into the New Year and it's still a novelty. I'll see how I'm doing at the end of the month and let you know how it's going!

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The Music Of My Life #14

 Here's one to lift the spirits. How can you tell when you've played an album in the car too often?

Here's my three and a half-year-old son James singing 9 songs from this album in just over a minute!

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A must watch film and a new hobby to follow!

 I need to move to America!

Last night I watched a film that made me smile from beginning to end. Debz did the same.

If you’ve got Netflix, I implore you to watch the film ‘Bathtubs over Broadway.’

It follows a comedy writer on the David Letterman show by the name of Steve Young on a journey of discovery. As part of the show, there used to be a section ‘David’s record collection’ in which he’d highlight a wacky off the wall album. Steve, as the writer, used to go and find these records in record shops to feature and they were unusual, to say the least, zany albums.

And during the period of doing this, he started to fall in love with the music, a genre that no-one really knows about, basically, ‘Industrial showtunes.’

In America from the ‘50s through to the ‘80s, many American businesses used to put on shows for their employees that were like pep rallies, to give them a boost as they went about their business. A lot of this came in the form of theatrical shows, built around their businesses. And along with the shows, these companies produced soundtrack albums that their employees could take home and play to keep them enthused.

Steve became addicted to hunting these albums out and over years has built an impressive collection of them. These are albums that never went on sale, weren’t promoted and certainly never came close to charting, and so they eventually got lost in time.

Steve’s geekiness is stunningly brilliant. His obsession led him to others like him and now there is a sub-culture of record collectors who seek out these albums.

If there was anything like that in the UK, I too would be on that particular bandwagon, but sadly, I can’t see it ever being a thing here (if it did happen let me know!).

The film was 2hours of total joy for me. Eclectic, geeky, nerdy and totally joyous. I can’t remember the last time I watched something on telly that made me smile so much.

If I was going to start collecting records again, these are exactly the kind I would want.

I’ve spent over 50 years accumulating music that’s been popular and I’d happily start a new collection comprising of weirdness like these records. Actually, weirdness is the wrong word. Genius – that’s the word I should have used.

These shows must have been great to see, if you worked for the companies that produced them. And the music quality was reminiscent of the musicals and shows of their time.

So yes, it would be worth moving to America just to be able to go cratedigging for these musical gems on a regular basis.

It would be worth signing up to Netflix, if for no other reason than to see this film. Brilliant!

If you can't see the video, click here

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Happy New Year

 Happy New Year! It’s 2021 and like so many of you, I’m glad to see the back of 2020.

We’re starting the New Year in a Covid Quarantine. Debz tested Positive to Covid 19 on Boxing Day, having got it from a fellow worker. Luckily, the symptoms have hardly been noticeable and we’re grateful for that, but it means that we’ve got to stay inside until midnight on the 6^th of January.

I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions, so I’ve not made any. Had I made some last year, I’d think I wouldn’t have achieved them after the ramifications of the last 12 months.

My abiding feeling from last year is of boredom and a lack of achievement. That’s not really true though because, during the first lockdown, I picked up my signwriter's paintbrushes again and started to fling some paint about, which started my creative juices flowing which pretty much led to me starting an online store selling prints that I’ve designed.

Nonetheless, I feel a bit underwhelmed with what I achieved over the year.

I read a lot of business, self-help and positive mental attitude books and during the summer I bought a book by an American artist, Austin Kleon in which he talked about building your art business, marketing it and tracking your results.

I signed up to his weekly newsletter and in one of those, he talked about some principles, one of which was tracking your weekly habits, and he promoted another writer, James Clear and his book ‘Atomic Habits.’

What he was talking about, piqued my interest as I’m not the greatest at following through on things I start. I work hard, but sometimes, if I don’t get the results I want and then my interest wanes.

On a whim, I bought the ‘Atomic Habits’ book and the writer was talking about how you can improve by working on your habits and instead of chasing your goals, work on  improvement of your habits by 1% on an ongoing basis.

This made sense to me. So instead of having goals and dreams that are too big to be attainable in the short term, which is what I normally do, I decided that this year, I’m going to make a serious effort to improve my habits.

Instead of going after big goals, I’m going to work day by day, on specific things that I know can improve me just by doing them.

I’ve bought a journal, and I’m going to track various activities that I’m sure will help me move forward this year. I’ve made a chart, and I’m pretty sure that once I start ticking off the activities and tasks I want to do, once I start to see the accumulation of crosses for each activity accomplished each day, it will motivate me to keep going.

What sort of things am I going to do? Nothing spectacular. Here are some examples.

I’m learning Spanish on the Duolingo app. I’ve already accomplished 1344 consecutive days doing it and what I’ve noticed is that because it shows me how many consistent days I’ve done, even when I don’t feel like doing it, I still do it because I don’t want to lose my run and for the consistent days tally to go back to 0. That reason alone keeps me going. I’m guessing that my Spanish is improving just because I’ve done it every day. And if it works in that way, then it can work for others.

As I said I read the kind of books I’ve mentioned above. I like them because they give me some positive input compared to what I read on social media for example, or in a newspaper where it’s negative for the most part. In the books, I actually learn tips and techniques that make me think positively about stuff. I read a lot, but not always every day. So I’m going to track my reading habits and try to become consistent and do it daily.

I’m bad for frivolously spending money I don’t need to spend. I’ll give you a perfect example. Last year, Debz asked me, one evening, if I could pop over our local supermarket and pick a loaf of bread and get some milk. I ended up spending £18 on bits and pieces...and forgot to get the bread!

So what I’m going to do this year is track what I’m spending. What I’m going to do is this. Say I’m browsing online and I see something that appeals to me, instead of buying it, I’m going to draw the money it would cost from my account and save it in a jar. I’ve got something in mind that I’d like to buy at around the £800 mark. Instead of dipping into savings to buy it, I’m going to put the money I’d have spent on spur of the moment buys, into a jar and when I’ve for the allotted amount I need, I’ll buy it with that money. I think it’s called delayed gratification.

Since I finished Slimming World last year when I’d lost 4 stones, I’ve been a bit lax with my eating habits and put a stone back on. As I’m getting older, I think I need to think about keeping a bit healthier. This year I’m going to track a few things such as making sure I drink 2lts of water each day, keep a check on my exercise routine as I pretty much stopped going out and walking when the Autumn came last year and it got a bit colder. Finally, I’m going to keep a check on my food intake as I’ve noticed all the bad habits I used to have are slowly re-emerging.

Putting a cross by each of those things each day will keep me ‘in the zone.’

There are other things I have on my list and by marking down each day when I’ve done them, I’ll know be able to visually see what’s being done (and improving), and what is not (which is not improving).  My hope is that once I start to get a few crosses in the boxes, as with Duolingo, I won’t to break the chain. By doing that in as many of the areas as possible, I think I should see some improvements in each area. And in the areas I don’t, I’ll either be able to get back on track, or I’ll decide that obviously, the task isn’t as important to me as I originally thought it was and then I’ll stop beating myself up over it and move on to something else.

I have to say, ‘Atomic Habits’ is an excellent book, very readable in bite-sized chunks, and it’s made me think about my days in a completely different way. I’m quite excited about seeing how it works out and I can’t recommend the book enough to you. If I achieve improvements in any of the areas I’ve decided to track, the book will pay for itself big time.

So that’s how my year’s starting. And by the way, writing my blog is another of the boxes I’ll be ticking at least twice a week!

As you can see, at the time of writing this, I've already completed three tasks today.

Feel free to let me know what you’re going to be doing this year.

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