Want to be happier? Turn off the News

I was thinking about this lockdown the other day and I’ve realised just how much I’ve enjoyed it since last March.

In that time, I’ve picked up my signwriting brushes again and done some signs, I bought some paint pens and started drawing and designing, I bought some new software from my PC and started designing on that and it has lead me to starting a new business.

Would that have happened had there not been the first Lockdown? No.

During this second lockdown, I decided to start trying to develop better habits than I used to have. And one of them was to start writing on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter what it is, but to write something.

I already knew that I use writing to help me to clarify things in my mind, so I knew that it would help. Now I’ve discovered how much I actually like writing.

It’s the same with designing prints. I’ve set myself a challenge to make a new one each and every day.

My days are more full and I’m enjoying the process of being productive.

And do you know what I attribute this state of mind to? Turning off the News! 

You don't really need to hear, "Hello, and here's this evening's dose of death and destruction," do you? Especially if you've heard it over and over again for weeks and weeks.

The news just pushes negative into your life. Agenda-driven journalists don’t cover what’s going on, they slant their questions to put the interviewee on the spot.

And you can watch it hour after hour, day after day. Let me ask you a question. How does it make you feel?

Do you feel energised? Do you feel at ease? Does it make you feel happy?

Of course, it doesn’t. When I was watching the news, I’d get wound up like a coiled spring. I’d get frustrated. I’d be so angry that it would be all I’d talk about.

I’d go on Social Media and see all the experts sharing their knowledge. You know the one’s who were experts on racism in the summer, and Brexit before that. Or as my Dad used to call them ‘Know-all Nothings.’

Argument after argument ensues. Then we watch the news, and the story is relaunched at us again. They make the situation worse by using hindsight, which is of course 20/20 to make the interviewee look bad.

Is it any wonder we’re all angry?

Then we pick up the paper to read yesterday’s news which we’d already been stewing all over because our tellies are tuned into Sky News or BBC news with its non-stop negativity.

And we get angrier and angrier. It's a continuing circle

Here’s a quick and simple solution – turn the telly off and stop reading the newspaper.

You’ll still find out what’s going on because whoever you talk to, be it on the phone, on zoom, on social media or even across the path when you’re on a walk. It’s still the only topic of conversation for most people.

I’m pretty sure that even though I’ve not watched the news for almost a year, I know what the situation is at the moment.

The only difference between me and all those other people is that I’m not choosing to have it driven down my throat every hour of the day.

Not much really changes on a day to day basis. I’m still locked down. Like you, I haven’t seen my family for ages. My only breaths of fresh air are when we go out for a walk.

But those hours I’ve not spent glued to the box in the corner means that I’ve had time to do things that I like to do.

Yes, just like you I get bored, and just like you, I want to go and see my family and friends. And every now and again, I want to be a couch potato and sit in front of the telly all day.

What I’ve discovered by turning the news off, however, is that for me, my life has been remarkably stress-free compared to most people I’ve talked to.

And I truly believe it’s because I’m not watching the continuing negative input and I’m not tuned into the minute by minute bashing that goes on.

I’m as affected by the situation as everybody else but I’m no way as miserable and angry as so many others.

I promise I’m not gloating or bragging. I’m just sharing something I’ve discovered by turning the news off.

And if it’s working for me, it can work for you too. I’ve found ways to fill my days that makes me feel as though I’m doing something worthwhile.

The lockdown has been a hindrance but it’s also given me the opportunity to do things I’d never have done otherwise.

We’re going through a period of our lives that has changed the way we live. We can choose to do with our days what we want, obviously within the parameters available at the moment. 

I get to stay at home with Debz and Niall. I’ve got time to spend with her that we wouldn’t have normally. We’d never have the chance to walk in a normal situation. It’s good because we talk all the time we’re out.

I’m also getting to spend time doing things I like doing, and I’ve discovered new things that I enjoy, such as writing.

Yes, I still sit in front of the telly. However, it never crosses our minds to put the news on – we’ve got DVD box sets of things we like. We hunt for things that we enjoy on the TV and we don’t watch anything that makes us feel bad, like the News.

Go on, I dare you. Don’t watch the news. Don’t read the paper. Cut down your time on Social Media so you don’t have to see all the arguments and opinions.

Keep away from the news and I’ll bet within a week, you’ll start to feel less stressed.

And who knows, you may discover that there are things you’d rather do or like to try.

It’s a win/win.

You can always turn the news back on if you’re not feeling miserable enough.

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The Music Of My Life 17

 

In 1977, I fell in love for the first time. I was bowled over in two minutes by this girl. It lasted about 2 months before she bombed me out.

I look back fondly on that short period of time. I bought her this album.

As I said the love didn't last, but my love for this album certainly has.

As for her, well, we're still friends all these years later.

And here's my favourite song from the album, 'Woman In The Moon.'

If the video doesn't play, click here

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Earworms and Earaches 3

 

I hope you're enjoying the playlists so far. As you can tell, I like to jump from one thing to another and then chack one of my job lot LPs in just for the variety - some are surprisingly not too bad but some...well it's a struggle to find one song of the albums to share, so you sometimes get the best of a bad lot!

Here's this week's selection of tuneage that I listened to:

James Ingram - It's Your Night

The Drifters - 24 Original Hits 

Sonny & Cher - The Wondrous World Of Sonny & Cher 

Franck Pourcel - This Is Pourcel 

Various Artists - Chart Explosion 

Kirsty MacColl - Tropical Brainstorm 

Charlie Drake - Hello My Darlings 

Desmond Dekkar - Israelites 

Tom Tom Club - Tom Tom Club

Gallagher & Lyle - Breakaway 

Gerry & The Pacemakers - You'll Never Walk Alone

Various Artists - This Is It

And here's your little compilation...

Oldies music - makes me feel good!

By my bed, I have an Internet Radio. And it's tuned in to an oldies online radio station. When I wake up in the morning, I turn it on straight away. And my day always starts off with me having a little sing-song.

This morning, Supertramp’s, ‘It’s Raining Again’ came on and as I was singing along to it, I came to a realisation that at the time, this song pretty much passed me by but it still made its  way into my memory banks and all these years later I was singing along to it.

When it came out at the back end of 1982, it wouldn’t have been a record I’d have bought. At the time, I was travelling on fairgrounds and the music I’d be buying would have a dance beat and a good bassline because that’s what sounded good on rides and that’s what I liked at the time.

However, it’s a song I’ve grown into over the years, like so many others. How does that happen? Is it because of nostalgia?

There’s no doubt that the older I get, the more nostalgic I become. I’m probably no different to many other people.

And what I’ve noticed is that as I get older, mainstream radio has no attraction for me. They don’t look past the same old tired hits when they play oldies, and stations like ‘Gold’ are no different. They act as though there were only The Beatles and The Rolling Stones in the 60s, and not many more artists in the 70s.

It’s now the 80s, 90s and 00s that make up most oldies radio.

But I digress...

Going back to ‘It’s Raining Again,’ I wouldn’t mind betting it’s not one of the most played oldies on mainstream radio and that’s why I get my fill of oldies radio from online stations.

They give me the opportunity to warble in my ‘Joey Falsetto’ singing voice along to the songs of my halcyon days.

And what I realise is that although I had my favourites back in the day, so many that weren’t have grown on me over time and have become part of the fabric of my life.

Many of them, without realising, have become memory joggers and can transport me back to a certain place at a certain time, and for that I love them. I also think that we were spoilt with the amount of music we heard.

I don’t hear too much new music, but when I do, I’m disheartened that so much of it sounds the same and so bland.

However, I’m sure to those in the demographic it’s meant for, it’s as good as what we thought ‘our music’ was.

 I do feel though, that music doesn’t play as important a part in their lives today as it did for us.

No longer do you have to go to a record shop to buy your favourite records. No longer do you need to sit by the radio trying to record that new song you love whilst stopping it before the presenter speaks.

Today it’s all so easy to get music – Spotify, Deezer and suchlike mean that you don’t really need to put yourself out to hear the music you want. They just ask Alexa and she’ll play you whatever they want. They have YouTube and Vimeo to watch the videos – and videos really did kill the radio star.

Now, you don’t necessarily have to have talent – just show enough flesh and it can become a hit. I’m saddened by the way it’s changed.

My son Henry sends me new LPs of artists he likes – and yet never buys any for himself – he listens via his iPhone – even he knows how disposable ‘his’ music is.

He recently told me that he knows that music is disposable today and doubts that anyone will be listening to the stars of today in 50 years, or even 5 for that matter.

And to me that’s sad.

But it makes me glad that I got to be growing up when Pop music was king: when music seemed so important. When we couldn’t wait for ‘Top of the Pops.’ When I spent all my birthday and Christmas money on records.

Perhaps that was just me. But I doubt it.

And so, tomorrow, I’ll turn on my radio again and before I get out of bed, I’ll be set for the day, cheered up as I sing along to Roger Whittaker’s, ‘Last Farewell’ and giggle to myself as I remember how much I hated it when it came out and charted and how much I love it now.

Happy days, happy memories.

Music of my Life 16

If James Taylor's Gorilla is my 2nd Favourite album, this is at the top of the list,

Stevie Wonder hadn't made an album for a couple of years. And when I knew this one was coming I pre-ordered it at Jotchams Record Shop.

On the day of it's release, I headed to the shop to pick it up, A double album and a bonus EP to! I can remember getting home and placing side one on my trusty old Dansette.

The first 10 seconds was all I needed, I fell in love with this album way before 'Love's In Need Of Love Today' finished.

I was 16 and this album was like a spiritual experience as it went from song to song.

On the first album there was also 'Have A Talk With God', 'Village Ghetto Land', 'Contusion', 'Sir Duke', 'I Wish', 'Knocks Me Off My Feet', 'Summer Soft' and 'Ordinary Pain', How could this album get any better?

I slipped on the second album. 'What a song to kick it off. 'Isn't She Lovely,' and on into 'Joy Inside my Tears.' 'Black Man' was unlike anything else I'd ever heard!

And then side 4. For me, the best song of the album 'Nigiculela, Es Una Historia, I am Singing' led into the wonderful 'If It's Magic.' Then two monster songs, 'As' and 'Another Star' What a finish!

But it wasn't - there was 'A Something's Extra'! The EP.

'Saturn, Ebony Eyes,' 'All Day Sucker' and 'Easy Goin' Evening (My Mama's Call)' to finish it all off.

The first time I heard the album it became my favourite album. And over the years, my love for 'Songs In The Key Of Life' has never dimmed. Just Stunning!

Just play this - my favourite song on the album;.

If the video won't play, click here

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James' Top 10s - Favourite characters in some of my favourite TV shows.

There's so much rubbish on TV these days that I often find myself going back to TV series of the past that I've bought as a DVD box set.

However, there are some programmes I watched purely because the characters were so well written and I looked forward to seeing what they were going to do each week.

Here are ten characters who made shows worth watching - all of these shows are fairly recent - well in the last 30 years anyway (you know how much I like the older shows - these still seem new to me).

However, they're all shows worth spending your time watching, if only for the characters alone - here's my Top 10.

10 Matt Saracen (played by Zach Gifford) - Friday Night Lights

Matt looked after his Grandma. He started as the back-up Quarter Back to Jason Street who gets injured, and so is thrust into the spotlight of being in the Panthers starting line up when he never expected to be. Matt is low on self-confidence, unsure of himself but always tries to do the right thing. 

As the series progresses, we see him grow as a person even though he faces multiple setbacks. Not your usual jock - he's a thoughtful character and all round nice-guy.

9 Al Swearengen (played by Ian McShane) - Deadwood

Based on a real person, Al Swearengen is the owner of a Saloon called the Gem Theatre where he sees himself as an entrepreneur but he's also a pimp. He lures unsuspecting young girls into the saloon and coerces them to become dancers and then prostitutes through bullying and physical brutality.

Ian McShane plays him brilliantly with menace and harshness. He's always 'on the make' and tries to turn everything to his advantage as he endeavours to run the town of Deadwood.

He's a tremendous character and one that I loved watching. He was foul-mouthed with no morals and I loved watching to see what he did next. Swearengen is no Lovejoy!

8 Saga Noren (played by Sofia Helin) - The Bridge

Saga is a detective in the Malmo County Police Department. She's unlike any other police person I've ever seen in a programme. Although it's never said, she suffers from Aspberger's Syndrome and she has no recognition of social norms.

She does and says exactly what she thinks she wants to do when she wants to do, which puts her at odds with the partner she had to partner with, Martin Rohde from Denmark to solve a murder of a woman found dead on 'The Bridge,' whose body spans the border of the two countries.

As the series progress, she interacts in the same way with everyone, but her attention to detail works for her, even though her unorthodox personality puts her at odds with most people. She is played magnificently by Sofia Helin and is one of the most unique characters I've seen in any series.

7 The Janitor (Neil Flynn) - Scrubs

He's the Janitor in the Sacred Heart hospital who spends his whole time trying to torment, insult and play personal tricks on the Intern JD after his first encounter with him.

He pretty much strikes terror into JD and becomes his nemesis. He was only a bit-part player in the show at first, but his role grew and he became more and more outrageous as the show goes on, but over time you realise that he doesn't have friends and that JD is probably as close to a friend that he has.

Neil Flynn plays the part so well and there are so many moments of comedy greatness that I couldn't wait to see him on the screen each week.

6 Jim Bell (played by Mark Heap) - Friday Night Dinner

Jim is The Goodman's neighbour who drops by often during the family's Friday Night Dinner. He is infatuated with Jackie Goodman (played by Tamsin Greig) and he always finds excuses to gain entry into the house along with his dog, Wilson, who he's afraid of.

In the later series, Wilson the dog dies, and is replaced my Milson, who he's equally afraid of.

He's interested in the Jewish way of life that the Goodman's lead, but has no actual concept of what being Jewish is. 

He's socially inept and isn't able to conduct a normal conversation and whilst it means he's treated patronisingly, you can't help but warm to the character. 

So much so that Jim has become a much-loved cult character.

5 Owen Newitt (played by Roger Lloyd-Pack) - The Vicar of Dibley

Owen is a farmer in the village and also a member of the Parish Council, He thinks the Vicar, Geraldine is great and is a big supporter of her plans.

He swears a lot, is always late to meetings and always has the most implausible excuses. He also has bad body odour but is oblivious to it.

Not only does he support the Vicar but he fancies her as well and proposed to her twice.

He's an everyman who is totally un-PC which makes him all the more likeable and he's played brilliantly by Roger Lloyd Pack. 

He likes to take part in village events and his animals are also often involved. His mentions of his sex life are not normal to say the least and he's a character that you shouldn't like but do. Comedy Gold!

4 Moira Rose (Catherine O'Hara) - Schitt's Creek

She's the matriarch of the Rose Family, she's a has-been soap opera actress, she's totally eccentric, has a weird way of pronouncing words and is the one who hates being in Schitt's Creek the most.

The Rose's used to be mega-rich but now they're not. They'd bought the town of Schitt's Creek as a present for son, David and when they lost everything they moved there and lived in the Motel as they started over.

Moira sees it as a temporary situation and tries to live her outrageous life in the small town.

She's awkward around people, including her own children but over times becomes more involved in the community but as much as she tries to join in, she's always self-absorbed and it leads to hilarious situations.

The only person she appears to gel properly with is husband Johnny. Catherine O'Hara's portrayal of Moira is superb and for me, she was the highlight of an excellent show.

3 Richard Fish (Greg Germann) - Ally McBeal

He's the co-founder of legal firm, Cage & Fish. He's got a very loose idea of morals and ethics and at the end of the day, it's all about the money.

Richard has his own thoughts that he's willing to share and they're known as 'Fishisms' but often they misogynistic, off-colour and offensive and whenever it's pointed out, he replies, 'Bygones'!

He is obsessed with his older girlfriend's 'Wattle' as well as any woman who has one.

He's well-meaning but too self-absorbed to notice when he's out of line and he manages to turn everything in order to prove he's right.

He always puts his partner and co-founder down even though he doesn't think he does.

His 'Fishism's are the stuff of legend and the way he's played by |G|reg Germann is a delight to watch

2 Barney Stinson (played by Neil Patrick Harris) - How I Met Your Mother

He's a serial womanizer, he thinks he's Ted's best friend, and he's an opportunist. He's really the only single person in the group of five and spends his life concocting plans to meet women.

He feels he's the ringleader of the group and likes to manipulate situations. In fact, he feels that most of his wheezes are 'legendary'.

He's very competitive and likes to take on challenges. He proud, he's stubborn but most of all he's absolutely hilarious. He's one of the funniest characters I've seen on television and he had me belly-laughing through the complete run of the show.

1 C.J. Cregg (played by Allison Janney) - The West Wing

It's my favourite TV series ever. I watch it every year because it's so well written. The cast is tremendous and every character is played so well that they could all be up there as great TV characters, but for me, C.J. (Claudia Jean) Cregg is the Queen of TV characters.

She serves of the staff or President Josiah Bartlet, firstly as the White House Press Secretary before taking over as White House Chief of Staff after Leo McGarry resigned his role following a heart attack.

She's sharp, well-spoken and not afraid to mince words with anyone. She's tall, slightly awkward and doesn't like that her secret service password of 'Flamingo' because it's "ridiculous-looking" and  she most likely thinks she's thought of that way as well.

She's competitive, ballsy, and doesn't shy away from saying what she thinks, even when she's the only one who thinks so.

I love that she's brave, and though she's one of the top five powerful people on the staff, there's an underlying femininity to her and the on-off courtship with Danny Concannon a press reporter is a joy to watch. It's a sweet relationship that runs through different parts of the series and shows a different side of CJ.

A highlight for me is her lip-syncing of Ronnie Jordan's 'The Jackal' during a party in the White House in series one.

For me, she's the greatest character I've ever seen on TV, There's light and dark to Allison Janney's portrayal of C.J. and she's a complete character. She's just brilliant. And she stands out for me as the best character in a cast of excellent written characters.

She's a joy to watch and I've probably got a crush on her! She's my number one TV character of the lot!

Showing appreciation. It's easy and works wonders.

Last week, a friend of many people I know passed away. I didn’t know her personally but from reading all the lovely things that people were saying about her, you could tell that she was a well thought of lady.

The comments must have been such a comfort to her family, to know that she was so well-loved but I can’t help but wonder whether she herself knew how much she was loved.

Most of us think less of ourselves than we really are. We often notice our own faults and focus on them and not our good traits. What’s more, I would imagine that most of us think we’ve not made much of an imprint on the people that surround us.

However, it really doesn’t take much for us to help someone feel better about themselves and know that others think well of them.

Let me give you a personal example.

A few years ago I was chatting online to someone I’ve known for over 40 years. I can’t remember what the conversation was about but I do remember something he said.

The reason I remember it was because his sentence took my breath away. I felt humbled and was a comment I never expected and I never realised he thought that much of me.

The comment?

“There are some people I wouldn’t cross the road for. You are one I’d swim across a river to talk to.”

I don’t think I’ve ever had someone say anything as nice to me in my life.

21 words was all it took to make my day. In fact, even now I think about it and it makes me feel good.

Back at the end of 2016, I had a health scare that frightened the life out of me and it shook me to my core and made me think about life in a way that I hadn’t really before.

I looked back over my life and realised how I wouldn’t have made it to where I was without the love and support of so many people who’d over the years had done small things along the way that helped me.

And I realised that I ought to tell them how much I thought of them for the things they’d done for me.

And I’m not talking about massive things, just small kindnesses that had eased situations, things they probably didn’t even give a second thought to.

And so I started writing about them on social media where I knew they’d get to see them because I’m not very good at face to face stuff.

I have no problem writing something that I couldn’t say to them in person.

I’ve used Social Media to mention people and tell people about how these people have helped me, sometimes by doing something such as helping me mend an engine but more often things that were probably of no consequence to them.

An example being one man who when I was a teen, never looked down on me and whenever he saw me always stopped to have a chat. A small deed like that probably meant nothing to him, but for me it was huge.

Or another who always looked out for me when I was first married and trying to earn a living.

And another who, when I was a stranger amongst a lot of people as a teen, took me under his wing, mated up with me and introduced me to everyone.

So many things that were probably nothing to them meant the world to me and yet I never really thanked them for it.

So I decided that I would thank them publicly. I wanted others to know that these were good people.

And do you know what? It paid me back two-fold because not only did I get told how much what I’d said had meant to them, but it made me feel good doing it.

There’s always a reward in kindness.

However, so many people live their lives not realising the impact they’ve made on people.

And for me, it’s really nice to let someone know how much you appreciate them. It’s really a very small thing to do but it’s something not many people do.

And as someone who’s been on the end of one such comment, I can tell you hand on heart, it makes your week.

In fact, 2 years on, I still think of the comment I spoke about earlier. I never realised that I was that well thought of by someone.

Going back to what I started this piece talking about, wouldn’t it be nicer to tell someone how much they meant to you while they were alive to hear it?

I’ve made it something that’s become part of my life. Whenever I remember something that made an impression on me, I go on social media and talk about it.

But at the same time, you’re also welcome to do it when someone’s no longer with us.

I did it about one of the people I’ve mentioned above 6 or 7 years after he passed away and just did it as I wanted to mention him because of how important he was to me and within a few hours, I got a message from his wife saying she was so happy that I thought of him the way I do.

I really wish I’d done it when he was still with us.

And when you look around yourself in these times when we see so much discontent and hatred, don’t you agree that it’s nicer to share a bit of warmth around instead?

My advice is to try it. It really does make you a difference, to them and to you.