Why are we nostalgic?

 

Everywhere you look these days, you are starting to see retro-this and vintage-that. Why?

I know that I love the nostalgic vibe. I love the music I grew up with, I love to see old films and TV programmes and I love looking back at things from those days.

But it’s more than that I think.

For me, it feels like an escape to a less complicated time, a time of different morals and values, a slower-paced way of living my life. Don't get me wrong, I know the past wasn't perfect, I'm not saying that it was.

Perhaps it’s my age. Perhaps it’s not. I think in this hectic non-stop, be in contact with the World all the time life we have today, the past seems to be one place that seems to make sense.

Not only to those of my age, but I see it everywhere. When watching the TV, listen to the music used in advertising. I’m hearing so many old songs. See how many programmes are set in the 50s, 60s and 70s. Shows such as Endeavour and WPC56  are just two examples.

We’ve witnessed a resurgence in vinyl of late. Records seem to have come back from the dead. Some modern music makers are even releasing albums in the cassette format.

It’s seen as cool and trendy to buy records again. Who would ever have thought that?

Vintage shops are springing up all over the country. I’m starting to see vintage clothing on teenagers. In a world full of cheaply produced, mass-marketed clothing, it’s becoming apparent, even to youth that you can buy something of better quality and what’s more, it’s unique compared to everyone else. You can be more individual.

It’s a bit like a circle starting again.

In a world where we’re almost constantly contactable 24/7, now that we carry computers in our pockets, vintage and retro just remind us that it wasn’t always like this. It feels like people want to slow down a bit, to take more time.

I know we’ve been locked down for pretty much a year, but it’s not all been bad.

I think I’m seeing people beginning to appreciate the simple things more. Even though when you see the media, they continue to show us the worst sides of life, I think many people would like to see a return to a more courteous, less hectic way of life, and not just those of our age.

Even in my world, the world of the showman, one of the most popular companies in the UK are Carter’s Amusements.

With rides as old as the late 1800’s, they’re successfully standing alongside the modern-day equivalent rides and holding their own.

Their fairgrounds seem to be more full than many others, they’re always frequented by families, all revelling in a time gone by. They're in-demand with television and film companies, and enthusiasts of fairgrounds love them. They can go to the fairground and look at how it used to be. See the older rides and the attractions, look admiringly at the fairground art and enjoy the ambience.

Myself and Debz generally go to  a bi-annual event in Cambridgeshire called The 1940s weekend. It’d attended by people of all ages, many of whom dress up in 40’s clothing.  There are jitterbug sessions, various bands playing 1940s music, and an amazing amount of vehicles are displayed from that period.

There are many businesses selling 40s merchandise from clothing to memorabilia, all of them enjoying good trade.

And what’s more, over half the people attending when I’ve been there seem to be younger than 30.

There really does seem a growing amount of people who are harking back to those times.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve increasingly noticed more and more of these kinds of events become part of the annual calendar.

And I don’t see any slowing down of this trend.

I also think there’s a deeper reason for people harking back nostalgically. I think when we look back, for many of us it makes us feel better. The sights and the smells remind us of so many times, some memories happy and some bittersweet. But they can also link us to family and friends, no matter what your age.

When I'm miserable, I look back, even at bad times,  and I inevitably feel better than I did before.

Nostalgia tends to make people think better about themselves and sometimes even less alone. I know for me, it reminds me of friends and family and good times. Yes, I see my past through rose-tinted glasses and I think many others do. It’s why it leaves us with a warm glow and leaves a sense of well-being. 

For me, it provided links to my roots and continuity to it. It makes me feel good about myself and my relationships. It provides the consistency of my life and helps me move forward.

I certainly see that when I attend any nostalgia events. I see the smiles of the old and young, it seems to make people more social. 

I can remember Debz complimenting a lady on her 1940s hairstyle and it turned into a ten-minute conversation. And there were examples of that wherever I looked.

And perhaps that’s what it is at the end of the day. Nostalgia can help us feel good in a way that the world we live in at its breakneck speed, can’t.

And as far as I’m concerned. That’ll do for me.

I’d love to hear why you think nostalgia seems to be making its mark these days.

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Download this app - why you need what3words

A postcode or a street address isn't always the best way of pinpointing an exact location - what3words has given every 3m squared in the world a unique three-word address.

This means that in an emergency situation, you log into your app and share the what3words location with the emergency services and they will be able to find you. It's worth downloading for that alone.

This year already, the emergency services in my local county, have already rescued two people through the app, one who was stuck in a flood, and the other who was reporting an outdoor fire.

But there's more to it than that. Suppose you're going to the beach and you're meeting friends there. When you've found your spot, all you need to do is send them your what3words and they know exactly where to find you.

Imagine you're looking for a shop in an unfamiliar town. You no longer would need to hunt up and down until you found it. Just use the stores what3words and you'll be able to find them with ease.

More and more retailers are starting to use this app as a way of being found.

Personally, I love the app. You will too once you start using it.

You can get it from iTunes and the Play store for download onto your mobile phone.

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My Top 10s - Cover Versions

I thought I’d just give you a rundown of 10 of my favourite cover versions. This isn’t a definitive compilation, just some of my favourites.

There are far too many that I could have added to this list,

10 Wonderwall by Mike Flowers Pops (1995) – original by Oasis (1995)

I can’t stand Oasis but I love this quirky version of their massive hit.

if you can't see the video, click here

9 How Sweet It Is by James Taylor (1975) – original by Marvin Gaye (1964)
I love that James totally changed the song and did it his own way.

If you can't see the video, click here

8 The Wonder Of You by Elvis Presley (1970) – original by Ray Petersen (1959)

Elvis turned a very bland song into an epic and it’s all the better for it.

If you can't see the video, click here

7 Can’t Get Used To Losing You by The Beat (1983) – original by Andy Williams (1963)
I love the way The Beat turned an already great song into a more modern ska-infused version

If you can't see the video, click here

6 The Day Before You Came by Blancmange (1984) – original by Abba (1982)
I absolutely hate Abba. However there are a couple of songs of theirs that I don’t mind. This is one, but I love Blancmange’s version. And the vocal!

If you can't see the video, click here

5 I Hear You Knocking by Dave Edmunds (1970) – original by Smiley Lewis (1955)
From 50s R&B to 70’s pop – just brilliant.

If you can't see the video, click here

4 Midnight Rider by Paul Davison (1975) – original by Allman Brothers Band (1971) I love Paul’s reggae version of a Southern Rock classic

If you can't see the video, click here

3 Tainted Love by Soft Cell (1981) – original by Gloria Jones (1965)
I’m not a Northern Soul lover and Tainted Love is a good example of why. Soft Cell’s 80s take on it improved it no end.

If you can't see the video, click here

2 Misty by Ray Stevens (1975) – original by Errol Garner (1950)
From Jazz to Country! And Ray Stevens’ upbeat version always brings a smile to my face.

If you can't see the video, click here

1 Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross (1970)  – original by Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell (1967)
A perfect example of how you can change an already great song into something of epic proportions.
Diana Ross’ version is a masterpiece!

If you can't see the video, click here

I'd love to know what you're favourite cover versions are - why not let me know?

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The Music Of My Life 27

 

In the mid-70s it seemed to me like everyone I knew had this album.

It's one of those albums that takes me back. I

'd go on a fairground and I'd hear it playing on a ride, if I went round one of my mates, you'd hear it playing. It was just one of those records that we all seemed to have.

It still holds up as a great album today. All covers of great songs and I suppose that's why it stands up - all great songs.

Standout song on the album for me? You Baby

If you can't see the video, click here

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Be yourself

When I was growing up, my Mum always used to say to be to create a good impression when I was going out.

She used to tell me that those first impressions that people had of me were the ones that would linger in their minds. If they were good, people would think well of me. If they weren’t, then it would be hard to change their minds from a negative impression. And that’s so true.

However, sometimes, I’d try too hard. And it always led to me creating an impression that I couldn’t live up to in the long term.

There’s something false about trying to be someone you’re not. You can try to reinvent yourself, to appear to be better than you are. Or perhaps try and come over as sophisticated, to be outgoing, or even to try and be enigmatic. But when you do, you’re setting yourself up for a fall.

Because once you try to be something you’re not, that’s an act you have to pull off forever.

I thought that what my Mum was trying to get me to do was be better than I was. That’s youth for you! It wasn’t what she meant at all. All she really wanted was for me to be polite, respectful, kind and helpful, all things I was more than capable of being.

I’d see a girl I’d fancy and immediately try to cool and trendy, two things I most definitely am not or ever have been. It never worked. And if it had, I’d have struggled to live up to it.

I’ve always been the one on the edges of a group, never quite being part of the ‘In-Crowd.’ The truth is, growing up that I liked the idea of being ‘Mr Charisma’ but that’s not who I am and as I’ve come to realise over the years, it’s not even who I want to be. And what’s more, I’ve realised that people with charisma, don’t even know they have it.

Growing up, I sometimes felt that to become more liked, I’d have to push myself, to develop this new personality, be somehow better than I was. I’m pretty sure that many of us feel the same.

Sometimes, I’d even try, but it was just so tiring. It was such hard work.

What’s more, looking back, I’m pretty sure that when I did, everyone could spot it a mile off because unless you’re one hell of an actor, it doesn’t ring true.

And even though sometimes, it seems to work, in the long run, it doesn’t. People can read you like a book and you don’t end up with more friends, you end up with less.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to improve yourself and become more likeable. That’s a noble aim, and what’s more, I think that through the course of our lives, we should all be trying to do that, to be the best we can be. But the goal should be to be a better you but at the same time to be real and honest.

What I’m saying is don’t try to change your natural personality. You are who you are. Be proud of that. It took me years to realise that.

I was well into my 50s before I became comfortable with who I am. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that, as much as I tried not to be, I’m a ‘heart on my sleeve’ kind of guy.

I always wanted to be black and white in my demeanour, because that’s often how I think. I have definite opinions on what’s right and what’s wrong. I didn’t like to see the shades in between. I tried to keep my guard up, not be emotional, not get too involved and to a great extent, I’m still like it.

But along the way, I decided that I’d had enough of trying to be something I’m not. I’m not trying to say that I was trying to be someone I’m not, I just tried to keep a facade up, a protective coat if you like.

But it’s not who I am. I’m not black and white. There are lots of colours in my personality. I can be happy, sad, introverted, extrovert, uninterested and intense all in the same hour.

If I’m amongst people I know well and am comfortable, I’ll come out of my shell, but amongst people, I don’t know well, I can appear aloof. It’s not a conscious decision to be like that, it’s just how I am.

I used to be uncomfortable being like that. I’m not anymore. I decided that it was best for me to just be who I am. What you see is what you get. No airs and graces. No need to be the centre of attention.

Don’t get me wrong, if I’ve got something to say, I’ll say it. I'm not a shrinking violet.

But as I’ve got older I’ve also learned some lessons in life. I’ve learned that pulling someone up because they’re wrong isn’t always needed. Sometimes, I don’t need to point out that they’re wrong and I’m right.  Sometimes, it’s so unimportant that it’s not worth it.

The only thing that would come from it is that I’d make them look smaller, I’d look like a ‘know it all’ and it would only be point-scoring. The only thing I’d have been doing, would be appearing superior.

People don’t like ‘know it alls’. They don’t like people who aren’t authentic. They don’t like egotists. They probably won’t say it to your face, but they think it all the same.

People tend to like people who are real.

It’s an odd thing, we all know it, but it doesn’t stop people trying to be something they’re not.

In my case, for years I tried to be a different person from the one I actually was. I tried to be what I thought of as better, more outgoing, more (here’s that word again...) charismatic. All things I most definitely am not. Why? Low self-esteem I would think.

I spent years looking at others and asking myself why I couldn’t be like them. What a waste of time and energy.

What I didn’t take into account is that everyone, and I mean everyone has their own challenges, their own doubts and their own insecurities. And none of us really want others to see that.

But trying to be something you’re not, just sets you up for misery. What it means is that you fake it, you attract the wrong people and when they realise, you lose them too. And how’s that going to help your self-esteem?

We all have ‘Our People.’ We all have flaws and failings, and what’s more, ‘Our People’ don’t care about them and often don’t even notice them.

And the things we dislike about ourselves are often why people like us. They’re part of the charm that we exude and part of our individual uniqueness.

Just remember, you don’t have to have more friends than anyone else. You don’t have to be better than anyone else. All you need to be is yourself.

All those years ago, when my Mum used to tell me to create a good impression of myself, she didn’t mean to be something I’m not, she just wanted me to be the best me that I could be. She just wanted people to see the real me. I didn’t get it until I had children of my own.

And here’s the twist – it wasn’t until I let my guard down, until I decided that I wasn’t going to keep hiding my imperfections and until I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t that I became comfortable in my own skin.

Even though I’m comfortable in my own skin, it doesn’t mean that I have stopped trying to improve myself. I’m still trying to be better. I’m still reading self-improvement books, I’m still trying to learn new things, develop a wider understanding and keep moving on.

And I thank my Mum for that because she wanted me to be the best that I can be. She instilled that into me. She created that desire in me. I didn’t understand it at the time.

But there’s immense satisfaction in knowing that, for all my faults, I’m a better, more rounded person today than I was yesterday, and next week, I’ll be better than I am today. That’s her legacy.

And it doesn’t matter if I’m not the flavour of the week. ‘My People’ get me, faults and all. And they don’t care.

And as the saying goes, ‘Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.’

Be yourself. It doesn’t matter that you’re not perfect. There's integrity in being who you are. 

And what's more, it’ll make you a whole lot happier too.

 

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I've been writing a book...

For years, people have been telling me that I should write a book about my life. They’ve read my Facebook recollections and think that my life has been interesting and that people would like to read about it.

At the beginning of this year, I decided that perhaps it was time to do it. I’ve just finished Chapter 13 and I’m at Boarding School.

But I haven’t enjoyed the process and I’m not ‘feeling’ what I’ve written. Yes, I’ve got the bare bones of the story down and to me it’s just drab and I can’t see why anyone would want to read it.

I also have parts of my life that are so personal to me that I don’t want to share them. The problem is, they are very important in explaining the person I am, they are integral to the story of my life. And yet, they were painful to live through and I certainly don’t want to talk about them publicly. And I can’t say I’m looking forward to telling my story and skipping over what were such important parts. Without them, it would change the essence of the story.

I’ve been sending each chapter to a close friend of mine to read as I’ve gone along. He was the first person who put forward the idea of me writing a book.

Yesterday, I wrote a Facebook post about parties we used to have in the shed when I was a teenager, and it led to my friend inboxing me and mentioning that he felt my Facebook writings felt different to the ones I’m writing in the book.

It got me thinking and questioning why they would be different. I think I know why.

When I started writing my story, I did loads of research. Asked relatives questions and started to put my story together. I’d go in the office and I’d start to write about a particular section of my story.

My Facebook writings come from a totally different place. I never spend time researching what I’m going to write.

More often than not, the ideas are sparked from a song on the radio. A song that takes me back to a certain time, a certain place, certain people or certain events that I’ve become emotionally invested in.

What I write on Facebook comes from the heart. Something has moved me enough that I want to write about it, to tell a story, to share some feelings. It’s altogether more personal.

I can wake up in the morning and half an hour later something has brought a story back to my memory or something I've thought about spurs me to write about it. A story that chokes me. A story that I need to tell. And so it just spills out. No effort, no researching. It’s all there at the forefront of my mind, fully formed and ready to tell. And I tell it as I see it. I'm not saying I'm right, it's just what I'm thinking at that given moment.

A glance down my Facebook timeline gives glimpses into my life, written with more feeling than I could write in a month of Sundays of going into the office and mechanically getting it down on paper.

I’m a heart on my sleeve kind of person. I write better when it’s coming from that part of me that cares enough to write about something. Anything else is just going through the motions.

It’s for that reason, I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to write the book.

I know people like the things I write. They tell me often enough. I love that my writing resonates with them, interests them and moves them enough to tell me so. And I’m really grateful for that.

I’m a sharer of memories and thoughts. Not an author.

I don’t feel comfortable writing in that way.

What I write on Social Media, either Facebook or in my blog, is something I need to say. It comes with my whole feeling.

And until I can write a book in the same way that I write my posts and blogs, I think I’m going to give it a miss.

If I can’t share my story in the way that I feel comes from the heart, then it’s not worth doing at all.

It’s just a waste of my time and would be a waste of yours because you wouldn’t be getting what you were expecting.

Therefore, it looks as though you’ll just have to put up with my writings on an ‘as and when’ basis. At least they’ll be from the heart, even if they do jump from one part of my life to another.

And what they’ll also be are my own thoughts, feelings and opinions that were strong enough that I felt they were worth sharing.

And that means it’s going to be ‘glimpses’ and 'flashbacks' from here on in. Just as it’s always been.

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When the best shops were record shops!

 

This morning, I was telling Debz about when I used to open on the fairground at Caversham in the summertime, I used to spend an inordinate amount of time buying records from two places, A second-hand shop called, ‘Serendipity’ which was along the parade of shops near Caversham bridge and a record shop in the town called ‘Pop Records.’

Back in the 1980s when I used to frequent these shops, you could buy oldies (1950s and 60s) for 20p each in these shops. And because they were so cheap, I would take advantage. I remember in 1984 spending £100 on oldies singles out of the Pop Records shop.

I used to walk back onto the fairground carrying armfuls of records. Not rubbish ones either. I bought so many classic singles. Some I remember buying were Mama’s & The Papas, ‘Creeque Alley,’ Ricky Nelson’s, ‘Travellin’ Man,’ and The Supremes, ‘There’s No Stoppin’ Us Now.’

I can remember walking back on to the ground with a pile of records and Georgie Traylen, who was 20 years older than me laughing, and after looking through what I’d bought, telling me that I’d been born 20 years too late!

But that was part of the fun, trawling through record shops, hunting down records. I could spend hours in a record shop flicking through LP covers to see what was interesting and rifling through the singles searching for the hits I’d missed.

It was something I’d started years before.

I don’t remember, but I’ve been told often that when I was three, Alf Silver, a jewish man that used to sell lighting to fairgrounds, took me to a record shop and bought me The Beatles’, ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand. I was three at the time and already had my own record player.

Ride owners on the fairgrounds knew my love of music and were giving me the records that they were replacing with new ones, so I had a record collection of my own at a very young age.

Sadly, I really don’t remember any of this. In fact, I was 6 before I remember buying my first LP. I had some money for my 6^th Birthday at the end of July, and The Beatles released their album, ‘Revolver’ just a few days later and I can remember buying it.

At the time, my parents had an Amusement Arcade in the Somerset town of Burnham-on-Sea and the records shop I bought that album and many more from was called Jotchams.

Jotchams was an odd little record shop, because it was an add-on to a sport shop. You had to walk into the sport shop and then turn left, walk through an archway and into the record shop.

Buying the ‘Revolver’ album was just the start for me and over the next ten years, it was the main record shop I’d buy my records from.

A few months after that first purchase, the first single I remembered buying myself was Eddie Floyd’s, ‘Knock On Wood.’

We moved away from Burnham at the beginning of 1977 and from then on, I was a frequent visitor to record shops around the country.

It was from Weymouth in 1977, I caught a train to London specifically to buy a 12” import single from a record shop as I’d never have been able to get it locally. It was Roy Ayers’, ‘Running Away.’

It wasn’t the first 12” single I bought, that honour went to T-Connection’s, ‘Do What You Wanna Do’ but the reason I remember that import was because it cost me £5.99. It only cost me £3.99 for the return train fare at the time!

Along the way, other record shops became places of note for me. Rainbow Records at Ashford, The Music Box in Staines, Jay’s Records in Cambridge, Bluebird Records in Luton and so many more that I went to on my travels.

More recently, a few years back, Black Barn Records in Cambridge was another place to pick up some great bargains, but like so many other record shops, it’s now gone.

Like so many other people, I don’t really buy records anymore. On the odd occasion, I’ll spot something I want in a Charity Shop – normally old albums that my Dad once had that I hated at the time, but 40 years later, feel nostalgic about and so buy them and add them to my collection for no other reason than I’m nostalgic.

It’s all changed now of course, Although records have had a recent resurgence, they’re now too expensive to buy new for the most part. CDs are on their way out and also often seen most in Charity Shops or Car Boot Sales.

I’m grateful that I was born in that period when vinyl was king and I’d get to spend hours searching the racks.

Nowadays, it’s all mp3s and streaming.

Don’t get me wrong, I love mp3s. It’s made it possible to carry thousands of songs and tunes with me. They’re convenient and it’s easy to find what I’m looking for.  I still buy record and CDs but the only time they get played is when they’re converted to mp3 and then they just sit on the shelf and it’s all too much effort when I can just push a button and I can hear whatever I want to.

I understand that the sound doesn’t sound as rich as a record would because of compression, but to be honest, my hearing’s not good enough to tell the difference these days.

And yes, I know it’s easy to just ‘Ask Alexa’ and you can hear what you want for pretty much nothing, but you no longer own your music anymore and when the company you stream from doesn’t have what you want you’ve just go to do without.

I also realise that it’s easier these days to get all of the music you want, but I feel sorry for all those people that have never had the joy of walking into a record shop and hearing a song they’ve never heard before that was just so good that you wanted that copy that was playing because it was the last one they had. 

That happened to me in October 1977 in a record shop in Newbury when I heard the instrumental intro to Lenny William’s. ‘Shoo-Doo-Fu-Fu-Ohh’ and told the guy behind the counter I wanted it.

And the hours I spent looking through record racks searching for records I wanted. I was such a regular in The Music Box in Staines, that the owner would keep records back that he thought I’d want to buy and each time I went in, he’d have a pile for me to look through and listen to and usually end up buying 80% of them.

Sadly, the way we buy music has now changed and so many people will miss out on ordering a record before it’s released and waking up on the day, knowing you’d be going to collect it, like I did in 1976 when I got to go into Jotcham’s and get my copy of Stevie Wonder’s, ‘Songs In The Key Of Life,’ and rushing home to play that first song on side one. And knowing 20 seconds into ‘Love’s In Need Of Love Today,’ that I was going to love that song forever.

Today that album is still my favourite album of all time, and I remember walking out of the shop with the record in a Jotcham’s record bag and I can vividly recall how hearing that album with the free EP single and the joy I felt.

There was nothing like a record shop. The hours of joy I’ve had in them over the years will never be surpassed by going online and downloading an album, no matter how convenient it is.

And I doubt that on a Saturday, you’ll be chatting with your mates as you’re looking at your phone searching Spotify for something to listen to.

Because when we had record shops, I’d see my mates looking for their likes and you’d see the big grin on their faces as they pulled that record they wanted from the racks as you asked them what they’d found.

Record shops...the only shops I was ever interested in. The places where I could spend hours finding the songs and albums of my life.

Mind you, I’d have more money today had I never entered those hallowed havens of musical bliss!

 

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