Showing appreciation. It's easy and works wonders.

Last week, a friend of many people I know passed away. I didn’t know her personally but from reading all the lovely things that people were saying about her, you could tell that she was a well thought of lady.

The comments must have been such a comfort to her family, to know that she was so well-loved but I can’t help but wonder whether she herself knew how much she was loved.

Most of us think less of ourselves than we really are. We often notice our own faults and focus on them and not our good traits. What’s more, I would imagine that most of us think we’ve not made much of an imprint on the people that surround us.

However, it really doesn’t take much for us to help someone feel better about themselves and know that others think well of them.

Let me give you a personal example.

A few years ago I was chatting online to someone I’ve known for over 40 years. I can’t remember what the conversation was about but I do remember something he said.

The reason I remember it was because his sentence took my breath away. I felt humbled and was a comment I never expected and I never realised he thought that much of me.

The comment?

“There are some people I wouldn’t cross the road for. You are one I’d swim across a river to talk to.”

I don’t think I’ve ever had someone say anything as nice to me in my life.

21 words was all it took to make my day. In fact, even now I think about it and it makes me feel good.

Back at the end of 2016, I had a health scare that frightened the life out of me and it shook me to my core and made me think about life in a way that I hadn’t really before.

I looked back over my life and realised how I wouldn’t have made it to where I was without the love and support of so many people who’d over the years had done small things along the way that helped me.

And I realised that I ought to tell them how much I thought of them for the things they’d done for me.

And I’m not talking about massive things, just small kindnesses that had eased situations, things they probably didn’t even give a second thought to.

And so I started writing about them on social media where I knew they’d get to see them because I’m not very good at face to face stuff.

I have no problem writing something that I couldn’t say to them in person.

I’ve used Social Media to mention people and tell people about how these people have helped me, sometimes by doing something such as helping me mend an engine but more often things that were probably of no consequence to them.

An example being one man who when I was a teen, never looked down on me and whenever he saw me always stopped to have a chat. A small deed like that probably meant nothing to him, but for me it was huge.

Or another who always looked out for me when I was first married and trying to earn a living.

And another who, when I was a stranger amongst a lot of people as a teen, took me under his wing, mated up with me and introduced me to everyone.

So many things that were probably nothing to them meant the world to me and yet I never really thanked them for it.

So I decided that I would thank them publicly. I wanted others to know that these were good people.

And do you know what? It paid me back two-fold because not only did I get told how much what I’d said had meant to them, but it made me feel good doing it.

There’s always a reward in kindness.

However, so many people live their lives not realising the impact they’ve made on people.

And for me, it’s really nice to let someone know how much you appreciate them. It’s really a very small thing to do but it’s something not many people do.

And as someone who’s been on the end of one such comment, I can tell you hand on heart, it makes your week.

In fact, 2 years on, I still think of the comment I spoke about earlier. I never realised that I was that well thought of by someone.

Going back to what I started this piece talking about, wouldn’t it be nicer to tell someone how much they meant to you while they were alive to hear it?

I’ve made it something that’s become part of my life. Whenever I remember something that made an impression on me, I go on social media and talk about it.

But at the same time, you’re also welcome to do it when someone’s no longer with us.

I did it about one of the people I’ve mentioned above 6 or 7 years after he passed away and just did it as I wanted to mention him because of how important he was to me and within a few hours, I got a message from his wife saying she was so happy that I thought of him the way I do.

I really wish I’d done it when he was still with us.

And when you look around yourself in these times when we see so much discontent and hatred, don’t you agree that it’s nicer to share a bit of warmth around instead?

My advice is to try it. It really does make you a difference, to them and to you.