The Music Of My LIfe #26

 The last one was Donny Osmond, so it's only fair to balance it with his big rival at the time, David Cassidy.

Now I can't say I was any more enamoured by David Cassidy than I was with Donny Osmond, after all only girls and my mum liked them didn't they? Well that was until I heard this delight of a double 'A' sided single.

I make no bones about it, I'm a pop tart. And both these songs got me. 'Daydreamer' was a typical pop love song, I thought it was a good sing along song, I liked the melodies and it was good enough for me.

But 'The Puppy Song' was the one for my. I loved that it was quirky and was about a dog! And yes it was great to sing along to as well.

Even today, I think these two songs are as good an example of pop music as you'll find. And the fact that I only had to buy the one single was a bonus.

If you can't see the video, click here

If you can't see the video, click here

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Why we should celebrate an achiever.

 

When I was a kid I loved football, especially the F.A.Cup. And my favourite round of the competition was the 3^rd Round, when all the big teams joined the competition.

Up until then, the competition comprised of non-league teams and teams from the lower divisions.

But what made the 3^rd round so special was because once the big teams joined, there was an opportunity to see a ‘giant killing.’

I still have memories of Ronnie Radford’s stunning goal for Hereford in their win over Newcastle in the 1971/72  competition and wanting to see Yeovil beat Arsenal at their sloping home ground in 1971.

And that’s a common thing, we love to see an underdog do well. We love to get behind the ‘little man.’

But it strikes me as odd that whilst we are like this, some people rejoice when they see someone fail.

The media have been doing it for years. They love to sell papers on the back of someone’s rise from obscurity, only reporting with glee, when the hero they built up, does something wrong. They enjoy reporting on that person’s decline just as much, if not more. We can all think of numerous people that’s happened too.

But closer to home, I’ve watched numerous times, people become back-biting when somebody they know starts to move on in life.

It reminds me of the example of putting some crabs in a bucket. After a while, one of the crabs will try and crawl up the side of the bucket, to try and get out, only for the other crabs to grab at the one trying to escape and pull them back.

When I was a young boy, my Dad used to talk about how people were like this in life. He’d say to me that sadly, some people want you to get on, just not in front of them. And that’s so true.

I must have been lucky because my parents were never envious of others and I was brought up the same. They taught me to always feel happy when I saw people achieving, especially if I knew them personally. And I’ve always been the same.

I’ve never understood the phenomenon of being pleased for someone until they began to be moving in front of you and then getting so envious that you start talking badly about them.

As far as I’m concerned, I love to see people moving on in life. And here’s why.

I think that it’s a bit like the sea. When the tide comes in, all the ships rise, not just one.

And what I mean by that is that it shows that when someone’s moving on in life, it means that there are opportunities for you to move on. You just need to be aware enough to spot them and take them.

Jealousy and being envious never does you any good. Bitterness over someone achieving just eats you up. It’s like having poison in your system.

Your jealousy doesn’t affect them, just you. They’re moving on, they’re doing what it takes to move on. That’s positive.

What it also does, is it shows the jealous person their own inadequacies and that’s why they snipe, not because they’re angry at the person moving on, so much as they’re angry over either  one of two things:

a)  That the other person’s ‘luckier’ and getting the breaks that they aren’t

b)  That deep down, they know that they’re not doing the things that can get them to move on. They’re really angry at themselves but rather than admit it they’ll snipe about the achiever.

And what can be surprising is that sometimes, the person doing the sniping can actually be in a better position already, than the person who is moving on.

I’ve noticed this on more than one occasion and in talking to someone about this turn of events, had it explained to me that it’s often because that person is in fear of losing what they’ve got and worried about being overtaken. I wasn’t sure about what they meant by that as it seemed such an odd way to be thinking.

He then went a stage further and explained that when you’re not well off financially, it’s easier to take a risk, after all, you don’t have so much to lose. And you’re more used to living without.

However, if you’re financially well off, sometimes, it’s the fear of losing what you’ve got. And with that comes the fear of how you’d cope if you lost everything. That fear makes it harder for them to cope with seeing someone moving up the monetary ladder.

They start to question themselves and wonder why the other person is moving on and why they’re not. And so they succumb to the same feelings that the jealous or envious person feels.

Jealousy is an insidious thing. It eats at you from the inside, and when you’re sniping about others moving on, it tells others about you. And it also makes people realise that if the jealous person is talking about that person, they’d talk about them as well! And so all in all, it’s going to hurt the jealous person socially as well because the people that aren’t jealous of others won’t want to be around you.

After all, it’s true that we become like the people we associate with. Hang around with thieves and sooner or later, you’ll become one too. That’s just one example.

I’m glad to say, I’ve never been jealous of people moving on. I love to see it. I’ve never been jealous of people who accumulate more and better stuff, be that cars, houses, clothes etc. It proves to me that moving on can still be achieved. What impresses me is what they did to achieve it.

If they can move on, so can I.

And that’s how I see it. We all love a David and Goliath story. But for me, it’s even better when it’s someone who I know personally.

It’s probably why I love Americans and Australians so much. They love an achiever. They applaud people moving on. And I’m all for a bit of ‘ra-ra!’

So I’m here to announce that you don’t have to wait until the 3^rd round of the F.A. Cup to hope to see a giant-killing, to see the little team beat the big team.

Have a look around you. With the right mindset, you’ll see people around you striving and achieving. It’s not a bad thing.

Instead of talking about them behind their back, applaud their achievements. Tell your friends about them and what they’re doing. Become a cheerleader.

For starters, it’ll make you feel better. And as a bonus, people will also see what a nice person you are!

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Touching base with my past

I talk a lot about being a Showman and I’ll recount anecdotes from my past often. It keeps me grounded and rooted in who I am and where I came from. It's my base.

Many people think of their base as their home town or the place they’ve been brought up in. Yes, I have connections to certain towns and places. Examples being Burnham-on-Sea and Weymouth the two places I’ve lived the longest at.

But my base point is my upbringing. It’s where I return to when I have situations in life. It’s where I go to seek answers. Who I am and where I come from is, at the end of the day, a Showman.

I’ve tried my hand at many things in life. They’re just ways to make a living. They’re not who I am.

I see people categorise themselves by what they do for a living. But what I do for a living isn’t me,  it's just what I'm doing at this moment in time.

Yes, when people think of a Showman, they see the rides, the bright lights, the rain (“it always rains when the fair’s here!”) – but being a Showman is so much more than that to me.

It’s a cultural thing. Just because I no longer travel on fairgrounds, it doesn’t change the values, the work ethic, the person I am.

When I think of my base, it’s back there I go. It’s where I can be me; it’s where I look back to for my lessons in life.

Being a Showman allows me to rediscover my roots. The stories I tell reiterate lessons old and new. They remind me that I was brought up in a loving environment.

And to me, that’s important in these turbulent times. Knowing who I am, who my family is and where I came from is my reference point.

I’m not stuck in the past. After all, it’s OK to have ambition and move on in life. But knowing my roots and having that solid foundation always reminds me of who I am.

It reminds me that whatever life chucks at me, I’m from strong stock, from people who aren’t frightened of making mistakes, who are willing to step out of their comfort zones in order to move on. To never think they can’t turn their hand to anything.

I love touching base with my Showman life. Yes, it has downsides. I’m not saying every showman is perfect. After all, we’re all different.

But being a Showman, my base, is where I was before I got lost in the hustle and bustle, the trials and tribulations, and the road that life has taken me on.

And yet, it’s the one place I can look back to and find my starting point. It’s where I learned right from wrong, it’s where my character was moulded, and it’s that loving environment to which I’ll always return, not necessarily physically, but in my mind, my spirit, my soul.

For me touching that base, is what keeps my feet on the floor, and stops me from thinking I’m somebody I’m not.

It keeps me being proud of who I am and it’s why I don’t need to pretend I’m someone that I’m not.

And that has to be a good thing, wouldn't you agree?

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Satisfying Shadows

 I was browsing my emails, social media and newsletters the other day when I saw a post that included these photos.

How satisfying are they to look at?

Posted on twitter by @JoaquimCampa it started a thread which led to others posting photos too.

I'm rather taken by them and have to wonder how long they waited to take photos of the shadows in just the right position.

Shout out to SwissMiss a design blogger that I follow for posting about the thread in the first place.

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The Music of My Life 25

This one's an odd one because it's not one I liked until recently.

When this came out just before my 12th birthday, I can remember hating it because I thought he'd ruined Paul Anka's original (which I had).

On top of that, I hated that girls thought I looked like him. You have to remember I was only young and hadn't discovered the delights of girls properly yet, so didn't realise I could have taken advantage of it. I used to get so annoyed when I was told I looked like him. (Shame I don't look like him now. He's worn decidedly better than I have)

Fast forward to 1993. I'm doing a show on Hospital Radio in Weymouth. It was a hot summer's day and I'm in the studio. In between records, I'm looking through the record racks (no playlists back then, just pick and play.). As I'm flicking through the singles, I see this.

I hadn't heard it in 15-20 years and wondered whether I thought it sounded any better, so I put the record on the deck, cued it up and prepared to play it.

I started to talk about how I hated it when it was new and that I hadn't heard it in years, so thought I'd see how I felt about it today.

I think I lasted around 30 seconds before I stopped it, apologised for playing as I still thought it was awful, took the record off the deck and frisbeed it straight out of the open studio window whilst telling listeners that they'd never have to hear it again during their stay!

The funny thing is as the years have moved on, this little event has caused me to warm to the single. When I hear it, it never fails to make me laugh, and for that reason alone, it deserves to be part of the music of my life!

If you can't see the video, click here

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I'm reading: Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain

Never order fish on a Monday. One of the many don’ts when eating out according to Anthony Bourdain in his book ‘Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly.’

I like Anthony Bourdain, Chef, writer, television presenter. Sadly, he took his own life in 2018, aged 61.

He only came to my attention as he had some series on Netflix that we used to watch. They were a mix of travel and cooking shows. ‘A Cook’s Tour,’ ‘The Layover,’ ‘No Reservations’ and ‘Parts Unknown’ took me on a journey around the world. One which even took in a visit to The Marlboro, a fish and chip restaurant in Weymouth that I used to know the owners of.

He could be funny, intense, snappy, and dark, all within one show. He was a really good watch on his shows and I’d thoroughly recommend you check them out.

When I discovered he’d written some books, I thought I’d check them out. I read and enjoyed his novel, ‘Bone In My Throat’ and looked forward to reading ‘Kitchen Confidential’.

It’s most definitely a no-holds-barred look at the industry he made his name in, and it’s an intriguing read. It lays bare the industry and the people and as well as being insightful, it’s humorous and gives a telling view of what it’s like to start and the bottom and go from there.

I’ve really enjoyed it. If you watch the programmes on the telly, you’ll like this.

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Are you angry yet?

We’ve had a weird four or five years don’t you think? What with lots of stories flying around social media, many with the potential to cause upset and raid the hackles.

Here, in my opinion, is why.

You see an outrageous piece you get emotionally wound up by it, so you post it on social media.

Someone else sees it and either agrees or doesn’t. If they agree, they often share it or post with the link to the piece on their timeline and before you know it, it’s popping up everywhere.

And below it in the thread, people are vociferously agreeing or disagreeing, tempers get raised and on and on it goes.

But what’s also true is that in this time when the news is so easy to get out there, it’s also so easy to get rumours and misinformation out there as well.

What you have to remember though, is that the media is looking to sensationalise everything. It gets your attention.

We live in a world in which numerous publishers generate income from pay-per-click advertising. Why else do you think you see so many adverts on a page in amongst the editorials? The more readers an article gets the more customers and more revenue.

That’s why we see more and more biased and sensational reporting. It gets you reading. It’s all about the money!

The media is doing its best to manipulate you and your emotions. Just don’t fall for it.

And we’re seeing more and more news sites on the net, more special interest groups, more activist web sites.

Call me a cynic if you want, but I look at them with adverts all over the pages and can’t help but think it’s all about the money.

And yet people see it on the net and take what they’re reading at face value. Their emotions are heightened and then they spread around social media getting more involved in the narrative and everyone clicking on the links to the story and it is contributing to the source’s income.

Even when it’s a fabricated source people fall for it. We appear to have become more gullible.

I stopped taking things like this at face value and getting all hot and bothered about it a while back.

I rarely share anything because I don’t want to keep it going.

I think that we really need to should start looking a bit deeper before we share everything that we see.

But what can we do?

For starters, check the source. Is the piece anonymous? If you can’t trace who wrote it can you believe it?

Don’t believe everything they’ve quoted, especially if they’ve quoted someone else. If they’ve not checked their source properly and it’s wrong, they’ll just say it’s the original source’s fault.

When you read a quote, it’s usually been picked out because the writer wants you to think a certain way, positive or negative. But is that quote taken in the context of the subject the speaker was talking about?

Pretty much anything we say can be turned around used against us if it’s put in a different perspective. What was the person actually trying to say? The only way to know is to read the original piece and not just the quote.

If it’s sensational and sounds unbelievable, chances are that if you think it is, it is! Does the piece try to show both sides of the story or is it biased? Are there dubious motives about the piece?

Are all media covering the story in the same way? If they’re not all saying the same thing, then it’s probably not as straightforward as you think.

And, I suppose, you really need to ask yourself do you need to share it? Have you fact-checked that it’s right or are you taking it at face value?

Do you need to share it now? Does it really need to be shared?

People are trying hard to get us to believe their point of view in order to gain an advantage over us. It’s how it is.

Yes, I’m cynical. You may think I’m talking rubbish. You don't have to agree with me, it's just my opinion. But don’t you owe it to yourself to check before you share?

I’ve seen so many sensation headlines over the last four or five years. There have been so many stories where the truth’s been bent just enough to make you get emotional enough to get wound up.

And all the time, the pay per click income keeps rolling on in.

The choice is yours...

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For the love of retro

 I don't know about you, but we love a bit of retro. 

If it's not music, it's the telly and if it's not that then we can find it anywhere. 

We'll go out and buy things on a whim just because we like them. I've not really thought about it much until this morning when I had two electricians in our house to carry out some work.

On their way out they were stood in our hallway and commented on the old telephone we had on the side. It's an old dial-up phone and he said that when he was at home, his Dad had a lock fitted on it so that they couldn't keep using the phone.

Then his mate mentioned our little petrol pump ornament that stands on top of our old radiogram.

Speaking of the radiogram, we bought that some time ago when we visited a second-hand shop on its opening day. We both saw it and fell in love with it and wanted to buy it. It had no price on it, so we asked the shop owner how much it was.

She told us that it wasn't for sale as it didn't work and she was just using it for display. We told her we'd be willing to buy it nonetheless. We agreed on a price and brought it home with us.

When we got home, I plugged it in any way just to see. Surprisingly, it came on and the radio part worked. The record player didn't.

I spoke to a friend of mine and he said next time he was out our way he'd take a look at it.

When he came, he brought his little toolbox, sat in the hallway, took it to pieces, and within 20 minutes, he had it working. I ordered a stylus online and it had played perfectly ever since.

If you can't see the video, click here

Perhaps, we should rein it in a bit, but when we see such nice stuff, it seems a shame to see it elsewhere.

I think we need a bigger house!

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The Music of My Life 24

 I was 9 when this came out at the end of 1969. I bought it with Christmas money soon after.

Having a brother who had loads of Motown singles, I'd been listening to these great artists for years.

This was my first foray into buying Motown Albums. I've bought loads since. But this is the one that kick-started it all for me.

The tracklist was just superb take a look at this: 

Side 1

1 Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine 2 Diana Ross & The Supremes & The Temptations - I'm Gonna Make You Love Me 3 Stevie Wonder - My Cherie Amour 4 Isley Brothers - This Old Heart Of Mine (Is Weak For You) 5 Marv Johnson - I'll Pick A Rose For My Rose 6 Diana Ross & The Supremes - No Matter What Sign You Are 7 Four Tops - I'm In A Different World 8 Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Dancing In The Street Side 2

9 Stevie Wonder - For Once In My Life 10 Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - You're All I Need To Get By 11 The Temptations - Get Ready 12 Edwin Starr - Stop Her On Sight (S.O.S.) 13 Diana Ross & The Supremes - Love Child 14 Isley Brothers - Behind A Painted Smile 15 Jr. Walker & The All Stars - Road Runner 16 Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - The Tracks Of My Tears

And the cover was just brilliant!

If you can't see the video, click here

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If you want to change some things...

 

I’m a ‘heart on my sleeve’ kind of person. I can be read like a book. I’m highly emotional and I find it hard to keep my mouth shut when I’ve got something to say.

However, over the last year, I’ve been trying to keep it in check. It’s not the same for a lot of people on social media. They’ve been going at it with both guns blazing on numerous topics.

It’s hardly surprising when you consider what we’ve gone through, over the last few years.

Politicians now appear as though they don’t know where the middle ground is. They use all the emotion they can muster when they speak. It’s all ‘fear and anger’ as they use their “weapons of mass persuasion” (I read that term in a book a while back) to get you on their side.

And the upshot of that is that followers are as equally emotional. If you don’t agree with them you’re ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant’. They don’t want a calm discussion, it’s their way or not at all. It’s pretty much become vitriolic.

Sadly, it’s made for a world in which, freedom of speech is becoming impossible because now, people are seeming to lose the ability to see others point of view. What we’re now seeing are witch hunts.

It’s becoming poisonous, insidious and frankly, quite worrying.

We now have information coming at us quicker than it ever has, what with the internet and 24-hour news coverage. Information is coming at us thick and fast, but in amongst that isn’t always facts.

Media companies and politicians have their own agendas. Long gone are the days when newsreaders (there’s a hint about what their job description is in there), just read the news. Now they regale us with opinions and results of ‘focus groups data’. The trouble with the data is that the people conducting the survey are looking for a result that will back their thinking and are engineering their questions in a way that will get the replies they want.

And so on it goes with people taking hearsay and downright lies as facts. And in amongst it, you’ll find the facts, you just have to look a little harder to find them.

It’s no surprise that we are becoming angrier. Social media often looks like the school playground with people bullying and forcing their opinions on others as the fear and panic is spread from one to the other.

The world is changing and we are evolving. But the problem is that along with all the technology, it’s now easier for people to spread false information and pull people’s emotional strings.

Therefore, it’s up to us to take a step back, take a deep breath and stop diving into the middle of the affray.

It seems to me that now, more than ever, we’ve got to develop some self-control over our emotions.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got sick and tired of feeling angry, sick of feeling anxious as though the world is falling to pieces and people are getting nastier.

I made the decision to make some changes in my life this year.

I’ve not bought a newspaper in years and I no longer watch news programmes on the television. I used to be an ardent listener to talk radio, but knocked that particular form of listening on the head during the ‘Brexit’ debacle when I got totally fed up with presenters blatantly trying to force their opinions on others.

I love Social Media. In saying that, I’d left Twitter ages ago as I felt the platform was getting poisonous. Facebook, my number one go-to, is following that same route.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve gotten back in touch with so many people from my past and I’ve made a lot of friends on Facebook, I’d have quit that as well. But because I like being in touch, I’m still there.

I’d spent a lot of time unfriending people who were getting on my nerves. Some were people that until lately, I’d quite liked. But these last few years has shown a new side to some people. And as my Mum used to say, “You become like the people you associate with.”

I chose to no longer associate. It made my timeline and newsfeed feel a little less acidic. But it still wasn’t that much improved. I felt as though I was still getting wound up because of the amount of stuff on there and so I made the decision that if I wasn’t going to leave, then I’d spend less time on it.

And so in January, I made my life a no-Facebook zone from 10am until 3 in the afternoon. And immediately I saw benefits.

I didn’t realise how much time I spent there until I noticed how much more productive I became. As well as that, I’ve felt a lot less aggravated.

Don’t get me wrong. I still get wound up and can still fly off the handle as much as the next person. But I’ve decided that that I need to move away from that.

I need to take over the control of my emotions and my attitude and find strategies to help me keep myself on an even keel and live a happier life.

I suppose you could say I’ve decided that I need to grow up and stop getting wound up by other people. After all, I’m an adult. Well, I am in age.

It’ll take some doing. Being the emotional kind of man I am, I’ll need to start noticing when I’m starting to get wound up and take a step back to see why it’s happening. I’ll need to become more self-aware.

I’m learning to become more self-aware. I talked recently about attitude and how I started to take control of it. And that’s what’s needed because I can’t always control how I feel, but I can always control how I react to the feelings,

Another thing I have to do is to develop more social awareness. That way, instead of reacting to other’s behaviour. I’ll aim to see why their acting that way, work out why they’re feeling that way and react to it with empathy (that’ll be the hardest one!)

And then, even if we don’t agree, I can take their opinion on board. I don't have to agree, but I will be able to see where they're coming from. Hopefully then, as people, we can build from there without the arguments in a calmer, more adult way.

Because at the end of the day, for my own emotional well being, by trying to become a better me, I’ll learn better ways to control my own behaviours, and then my world will become a better place.

After all, the only person I can truly influence is me. And if can do that and make my life more harmonious, it’s got to be better than getting wound up over every piece of information that comes my way, instead of looking to pick holes in everyone else and end up on edge all the time.

It may be easier to argue and blame everyone else, but in the long run, it’s my life and for it to be a more enriching one, it’s really down to me to do everything I can in order to make it one.

As they say, “If you want to change some things in your life, you’ve got to change some things in your life.”

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The Joy of Retro Telly!

 

For a long time, I didn't watch much television. I'd generally be so busy that I didn't find myself sitting in front of it until 8pm and I'd go to bed about 10pm, so a couple of hours a day would be about it.

When I first moved to Cambridgeshire, I didn't even have an aerial on the fist home I stayed in, so what I did watch was old DVD box sets or films that I bought.

When we moved into this house, for a long time, we did much the same, 2 hours at night and it was either a DVD or Netflix, which we'd signed up to.

But the start of the Pandemic and lockdown pretty much changed everything. With not much else to do with our lives, we started putting the TV on earlier and instead of just watching anything, I started buying Box Sets of TV series I'd loved in the past and fancied rewatching.

I started off by buying the 1980s series 'Howard's Way.' I'd only ever seen the first series which was back in 1986. It was on in the summer and we were open at St Osyth in Essex in an arcade, and I'd nip into the back room and have this hour to relax and take a break. After that first series, I'd never watched it again.

I decided to go and buy it. £30 invested for 5 series of a series. I hoped it wasn't a waste of money. Invariably, I always see life through rose-coloured glasses and so I always think that the programmes I used to watch were better than anything today.

'Howard's Way' wasn't, but it was still a fairly decent watch. I know nothing about the 'boating set and I imagine the series was just one big cliche, although an enjoyable one. 78 episodes for £30 wasn't bad value and it was well worth the money.

I progressed from there buying complete sets of '24', 'Miami Vice,' 'Monarch Of The Glen,' 'Quantum Leap,' 'Man In A Suitcase,' 'Land Of The Giants,' 'McCloud,' 'Sharpe,' 'Lovejoy,' 'Sunday Night At The London Palladium' and others. As well as that I started to rewatch series that I'd loved such as, 'Friday Night Lights,' 'Around The World In 80 Days with Michael Palin,' 'The West Wing,' 'Inspector Morse,' and 'Minder.'

So as you can tell, I haven't had much time for too many new series. And best of all, it's meant I've been available to totally miss out on watching the News and any other input of the unrest that's occurred in the last year.

Did I watch all of the series I bought? Not all. But I had enough variety and still have plenty to watch. 

I know that nobody thinks about buying DVDs anymore and most watch Netflix or Prime, but I've found it joyous to go back over those old shows and enjoy the innocence of a lot of them.

Then, back in November, I decided to buy one of those hard drive recorders to get some of the shows from the Freeview Channels. I've indulged in 'The Fugitive,' 'Tales Of The Unexpected,' re-runs of 'DIY SOS,' 'Grand Designs' and many more. I've stored loads of 'Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives' and 'Hairy Bikers' shows and numerous murder and crime documentaries. Sky Arts have some great documentaries as well.

So all in all, I've become 'Retro TV Man' and I've loved it.

At Christmas, I watched all the classics that remind me of the telly when I was a kid. All those wonderful Musicals of the past. The Bing Crosby films, James Stewart and all those that still get a viewing (but without the adverts). And of course, what would Christmas be without 'Calamity Jane;?

So yes, I've had plenty of opportunities to watch telly over the last year. but I've mostly used my DBD collection.

Most of today's telly doesn't do much for me, sadly. And of the programmes I do watch, they tend to be what I class as 'Sunday Night TV', Dramas with a hint of comedy, stuff that can border on the nostalgic and then things like 'The Antiques Roadshow' and the wonderful, 'Repair Shop'

I suppose the thing is, I like to be entertained. Much of today's TV to me, seems dark, overtly political and heartless. And to be honest, I don't want to spend my downtime not enjoying what I'm watching.

Luckily for me though, I've still got complete, 'Frasier' and 'Gray's Anatomy' and 'The Sweeny' box-sets sat waiting for my attention.

So although I've slowly been drawn back to the telly, it's on my terms. If I'm going to watch it, at least it won't be interspersed with the agendas of the BBC, ITV and all. The thought of sitting through the news turns my stomach these days. And there's about as much chance of me sitting through 'Question Time' as there is of me running the next London Marathon, whenever that happens!

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Learning what words mean

 

Do you ever read books, see a word and wonder what it means, and then carry on reading?

I do that all the time.

So today, I decided that from now on, whenever I’m reading a book, instead of skipping over the word, I’m going to stop, pick up my dictionary and actually find out what it means.

After all, why have the dictionary if I’m not going to use it?

So... today’s two, ‘I don’t know what they mean’ words (in broad terms) are......

Pejorative – adj: expressing contempt or disapproval.

Axiom – noun: an accepted statement or preposition as being self-evidently true.

I thought I'd share them with you as well.

I’d like to think of it as a public service I’m performing hahaha!

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Education - time for a change?

I’ve just completed an online course in regard to learning some professional desktop publishing software and I have to say, that although it was only a ‘solid foundations’ course, I really enjoyed the process and of course, like the feeling of achievement.

I was talking about it on social media and said that I wished I’d enjoyed lessons as much at school. A friend answered that the reason I didn’t enjoy lessons at school was because they weren’t the things I wanted to do. And she was right.

When I look back, I’ve never really used anything I learned in Maths in real-life since I left school. I was taught my times tables by Mum before I was really at school. At 5, I would sit in the cash desk of our arcade with my Mum and she would teach me about money, what change to give for varying amounts. And she’d play money games with me. And I can’t think of anything else I did in a maths lesson that I’ve needed to do from that day to this.

I loved English, Geography, and P.E but wasn’t really interested in anything else. I had a succession of boring History teachers who couldn’t bring their subject to life with their dull monotonous teaching of the subject which caused me to dread the lessons, which is a shame as my Mum loved history and would regale me with stories of Henry VIII and enrapture me with historical facts. She would take me to museums and explain so much to me. We even queued in the rain to see Tutankhamun’s exhibition when it came to London in the early 70s. There was a woman who loved History.

I understand why there is a wide curriculum, but I spent years doing subjects that were of no interest to me at all. The science subjects were a blur to me. I hated them. I used to go to them thinking, “I’m never going to need any of these subjects,” and I haven’t.

As for exams. I failed my 11+ and didn’t take any of my ‘O’ levels as I left school early in order to run the family business when my Dad was taken ill.

I personally would like to see Exams done away with. I’d prefer to see the course results taken for the entirety of the course.

I never saw the sense in the last year of school, when you pretty much spent half of it going over everything you’d done in the previous years in case it came up in the exam. What a complete waste of time.

That time could have been spent learning something new. The teachers could give the results based on the coursework. After all, they’re the ones who can tell whether you’ve engaged in the subjects, how much knowledge you’ve taken in, how much effort you’ve put in. They’re the ones who see how the individual performs on the daily basis and how capable they are.

Instead, you have an exam, looked at by a group of people who have no idea whether the students are bright or not. There could well be students who took everything on board but froze on the day of the exam and because of that didn’t get the result they deserved. To my mind, it’s a stupid way of assessing a student’s capabilities.

I also think that education also goes about itself the wrong way. Instead of teaching sensible subjects that will be useful to anyone, they say that you have to do certain things.

Had there been lessons on business, I’d more likely have been interested.  Had there been lessons that I could have taken into the real world; I’d have applied myself more.

I’m not saying I didn’t apply myself. Had I not, Mum and Dad would have been down on me like a ton of bricks.

I’m not saying there shouldn’t be all the lessons we had, just that there should have been others and we should have been able to drop out of certain lessons if we didn’t want to do them. To have to do maths and the sciences was a complete waste of my time...and the teachers who had to teach me.

I know that as kids, we don’t know what we want to do in life. Well that’s not true is it? As kids, before adults knock our dreams out of us, most kids have fantastic dreams, but because the teachers aren’t encouraged to help them follow their dreams, they are instead, pushed to go down the national curriculum road.

I’ve read no end of autobiographies of successful people who, at school were laughed at by teachers and who, when they went to see the career’s officer were told to take their head out of the clouds and look for a real job. 

A real job is surely not dependent on what a careers officer thinks. I agree that practical jobs are important, but that shouldn't mean those outside the norm shouldn't be aimed at. In saying that, I don't think everyone should be pointed toward going into the further education route of college or university either.

Since I left school, I think I’ve used only a tiny bit of what I was taught at school. The majority of things I’ve used started with my parents, the biggest of which was to give me the thought that I should never give less than my best. I’ve carried that through my adult years and I still am.

I agree with my friend, I learn because I’m learning things that I’m interested in.

I got an NVQ Level 2 in IT at college in my 50s because I was interested in it. I completed a course this week because I was interested in it.

I’ve just signed up for two more courses because I’m interested in the subjects.

I’ve always been curious, I’ve always been interested in things. Admittedly, the courses I’ve taken weren’t there in the 60s and 70s when I was at school. But at school, they couldn’t seem to harness my curiosity and point it in directions that would have been beneficial to me.

For the life of me, why they couldn’t they have made lessons such as maths based on the real world of budgeting, how to save and the benefits of it, and how to put a business together, instead of forcing us to do algebra and geometry I don’t know.

I know that they’re important for some people, but they could have added them in at some stage for those who wanted to take their subject further.

I still can’t explain what an isosceles triangle is or what use algebra has played in my life. I’ve never needed to know.

The same goes with things such as cumulus clouds, stratus of rock, how to cut up a toad, anything to do with religion (I read the whole bible years later in my own time) and no end of other things I was taught at school.

As I said, I didn’t come out of school with any qualifications, but I’d like to see anyone prove that I’m ignorant and uneducated. I was running my Parents business at 16, I’d been dealing with people as part of that business since I was 6 or 7. I’ve turned my hand to no end of trades over the years and succeeded, and failed (when I learned most) along the way.

I was told I would’ve done well in my exams but had I needed jobs, I’d not have got any that I’d have gone for if they looked at my educational achievements. It’s just as well I had bigger dreams!

I just feel sorry for those kids who slipped through the net, either through a lack of real-world teaching or because they froze in exams.

For me, the only thing an exam proves is that you’re capable of turning up on time, are calm enough to complete the exam and you’re able to hold and write down information in a coherent way.

An exam doesn’t show me that you’ve worked hard for that allotted period. It doesn’t show me that you’re capable of taking the initiative, you’re forward-thinking, that you’ve got common sense or more importantly that you’ve got people skills – all things that are useful in any career or business.

There’s another thing...why aren’t children taught skills with people at school? Why aren’t they encouraged to dream and show their initiative? Why aren’t they actually taught things that are useful in real life?

I understand that I may sound naive in my thinking. I know that all the subjects taught are there for a reason. But when are they going to look at trying to prepare kids for when they leave school and really start to learn about life?

To my mind, after we’ve spent all those years in education, we should be prepared for the real world. Not everyone needs to go to University. And the aim shouldn’t be for everyone to try to get there.

I’d rather there be more plumbers, builders and electricians than too many ex-university students with degrees taking jobs they don’t want because there aren’t enough of the high-end ones they're expecting to get!

I say this because I’ve met more than a few who’re serving behind bars and working in a garage because there aren’t jobs in their intended fields for them.

As I see it, if we're turning out more kids from school unprepared for the real world, then something's wrong. Shouldn't they be getting a more practical form of education too? And why isn't how they apply themselves to their coursework over a length of time more important than an exam result could be on any given day?

There has to be another way.

 

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Music of My Life 23

This is one of the albums my Dad had on his reel to reel tape recorder, that he'd play when there were too many teens in the arcade back in the 1960s.

The tape recorder (a grundig - pictured below) played both ways without having to turn the tape over. So on track one there was popular hits of the 60s and on the other track would be this album. As soon as there were too many listening to the pop stuff, he'd press the button, it'd play the other way and they'd get Max!

The funny thing is, I love this album. I bought it again about ten years ago, but

have lost it. Fortunately I digitised it and am still able to play it. These songs take me back, and I'm a little boy again and Mum and Dad are still in their late 40s.

Memories!

Go on have a listen to this one:

If you can't see the video, click here

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The decision that changed my life

I’d like to take you on a little trip back in time. The date is 23^rd December 2003. I didn’t realise it until a couple of weeks ago, but up until this particular day, I’d been playing ‘victim’ in my own life. Not for the 5 years, I thought it had been, but for 12!

Take a look at this photo. As you can see, it’s cold. It’s the day before Christmas Eve and me and my son James are working on this trailer.

I’d recently bought it to add to the fairground equipment I already had. It had been a horsebox and I’d bought it to convert it to a games stall.

We rubbed all the body down, cut two openings on one side, to which we added shutters that we could lift up to open the stall. Inside, we panelled it out, added electricity points and painted it up.

We took off the back door which would drop down so that they could walk a horse into it and added two doors to get in and out. And I made and sign-wrote a sign that attached to the roof of the trailer.

And it was on that very day, that whilst rubbing down the front of this trailer, wondering what I was doing outside in the snowy cold (you can just see the start of the snow on the bonnet of my car in the bottom left-hand corner and on the drawbar of the trailer), that a glaring realisation came to me.

It was a couple of hours after this photo had been taken. I was sanding down the fibreglass, my hands were freezing cold and I’m swearing to myself.

“What the f*ck am I doing out here? I must be mad. My life shouldn’t be like this. It wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for that bastard.”

It was at that moment that I realised.

Back in 1990, I had a business, putting amusement arcade machines and video games into pubs, clubs and shops from Weymouth in Dorset along the coast as far as Paignton in Devon. 

My son Henry was born in December of 1990 and due to the actions of one person, with me being more engrossed in my new son than keeping my eye on things, my business collapsed within a period of a month.

What happened shall remain private but I will say that I blamed what happened on one particular person – one who I trusted with my life.

It wasn’t until I returned to work a month later that it dawned on me what had gone on in the interim and the problems it caused.

The upshot was that we lost everything. I could have gone bankrupt, but after speaking with my Dad, I made the decision to sell everything I needed to sell in order to avoid it. And that’s what I did.

Over the next year, to keep the food coming in, I started market trading. And the stock I sold? My beloved record collection was my starting stock. It’s just as well it was large. Over that next year, it kept money coming in, but we ended up in the position where, by February 1992, we were about to be made homeless.

I won’t give you the details of the next few years as they were painful and I don’t really want to go over them in detail.

Over the next years, as a family, we worked and started to get back on our feet. And when I say we, that’s exactly what I mean. By 2003, we had a business, attending fetes, shows, and fairs with fairground equipment that we’d started to acquire over the previous two or three years.

By the time this photo was taken, my sons James and Henry were 17 and 13 and they’d both been fully involved in helping us get our business open and continuing the project, as was my wife, Carol.

But on that day, with me berating myself about our plight being caused by this one person, I realised for the first time, that my ranting and raving wasn’t hurting him. I realised that for all the bitterness I harboured, it had absolutely no effect on him at all.

I remember thinking to myself that during all this time when I was eating myself up with anger, and the nights I was awake running and re-running the events through my mind, that he was oblivious to it and probably slept quite comfortably and most likely, never gave his actions a second thought.

I realised that day that whilst he may well have been the cause of the problem, that was all he was.

His actions may have precipitated the events that brought us into the position we’d found ourselves, but after that, everything that happened from that moment, was down to me.

And even though I worked every hour I could to dig us out of the hole, and now we were starting to get back into a more comfortable position again, deep down in my heart, I was still playing the victim.

I realised that my, ‘woe is me’ attitude had been holding us back for all these years. Everything I’d done, each thought I'd had, although aimed at rebuilding our lives had also been hindering every step of the way because of my ‘victim’ mentality.

I don’t think there was a day during those years when I hadn’t sworn at or blamed this other individual for the situation I was in. My anger was deep down. My stomach seemed to be continually knotted, sleep was something I rarely had. At night if I dreamed it always revolved about our situation.

I couldn’t see that inch by inch we were clawing our way back. All I could see was that we’d had to go to car boot sales to buy my kids presents on their Birthdays and Christmases during those first few years. I couldn’t forget that for 18 months, my wife and I had pretty much survived on beans on toast in order for us to be able to feed the boys properly.

All the time I was doing this, it was eating away at my soul and my self-esteem. And I couldn’t get out of my head that even on the day that my Dad died in 1994, I didn’t have enough money to put petrol in my car to get from Weymouth to Farnborough and that I’d had to go to my next-door neighbour and borrow £10 to get petrol to go.

And so all this anger and hatred inside me was affecting me day after day.

But at that moment, when I had this startling discovery, everything...and I mean everything changed.

At that moment, I realised that the biggest problem I had wasn’t all that had gone on before, but my attitude toward it.

What had happened had happened. But from that moment, everything I did was down to me. How I thought about it was down to me.

The realisation that I was hurting nobody other than myself was like a thunderbolt hitting me.

I then spent the next 20 minutes or so berating myself for being such a fool. Once again, I was beating myself up.

And then, with the snow falling, and my freezing cold hands holding the drill, I made, probably the most important decision I’d ever made.

I looked down at the snow-covered floor, dragged one foot along it until it made a line and decided that the other side of the line was the past – that’s where my anger, hatred and pain was. I’d stepped over it, looked down and I wasn’t going back over it anymore.

And from that day on, I stopped being angry. I stopped thinking about him and what he’d done. And started to move forward.

And over the next few years, my stupor lifted, my business improved and for the first time since 1990, I started to feel good about myself.

I started to see what I’d been through over those previous years in a different light. From feeling bad about what had happened to us, I started to see how, from virtually nothing, we’d started again and had got into the position where we’d rebuilt.

I started to feel proud of the things I’d done to move on. I started to see the accomplishments of the past few years.

It was the start of me moving on, in my business, in my life and most importantly, in my heart.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a fairy story. Not everything went right. I didn’t become a millionaire or even close.

But what I did become, was proud of who I’d become. Proud of the challenges I'd overcome, the ones that at the time, I didn’t see as successes, just failures. But as I often say these days, your strength comes from learning from your failures.

I haven’t come through it all unscathed. Those days of buying my kids presents from Car Boot Sales has never left me. I still feel that as much as I did back then. Christmas never comes without me remembering those years. Sadly, I’ve never been able to shake those memories off.

However, looking back, I know that we did what was needed and we always made to try to make them happy times for the boys.

And as I look back to that day, I think of it as my ‘flick of the switch moment.’ The day I got my self-respect back. The day I kicked my stinkin’ thinkin’ out. The day I realised that my attitude, good or bad, was down to me.

It was the day I finally got it. The day I realised that whatever happened in my life, good or bad, my attitude was down to me and no-one else. No matter what happened in the world, it was up to me how I reacted.

I had lost everything I’d worked for in my life. I’d spent years blaming someone for everything bad that had happened after that. And finally, I’d learned the lesson that my attitude controlled how I reacted.  And I was the only person who could control my attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. There are still times when my attitude is bad, but I realise quickly and set about changing it.

But when I look back, the day before Christmas Eve, 2003, was the day my life turned around. It was the day I grew up and became a man.

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