When I was a kid I loved football, especially the F.A.Cup. And my favourite round of the competition was the 3rd Round, when all the big teams joined the competition.
Up until then, the competition comprised of non-league teams and teams from the lower divisions.
But what made the 3rd round so special was because once the big teams joined, there was an opportunity to see a ‘giant killing.’
I still have memories of Ronnie Radford’s stunning goal for Hereford in their win over Newcastle in the 1971/72 competition and wanting to see Yeovil beat Arsenal at their sloping home ground in 1971.
And that’s a common thing, we love to see an underdog do well. We love to get behind the ‘little man.’
But it strikes me as odd that whilst we are like this, some people rejoice when they see someone fail.
The media have been doing it for years. They love to sell papers on the back of someone’s rise from obscurity, only reporting with glee, when the hero they built up, does something wrong. They enjoy reporting on that person’s decline just as much, if not more. We can all think of numerous people that’s happened too.
But closer to home, I’ve watched numerous times, people become back-biting when somebody they know starts to move on in life.
It reminds me of the example of putting some crabs in a bucket. After a while, one of the crabs will try and crawl up the side of the bucket, to try and get out, only for the other crabs to grab at the one trying to escape and pull them back.
When I was a young boy, my Dad used to talk about how people were like this in life. He’d say to me that sadly, some people want you to get on, just not in front of them. And that’s so true.
I must have been lucky because my parents were never envious of others and I was brought up the same. They taught me to always feel happy when I saw people achieving, especially if I knew them personally. And I’ve always been the same.
I’ve never understood the phenomenon of being pleased for someone until they began to be moving in front of you and then getting so envious that you start talking badly about them.
As far as I’m concerned, I love to see people moving on in life. And here’s why.
I think that it’s a bit like the sea. When the tide comes in, all the ships rise, not just one.
And what I mean by that is that it shows that when someone’s moving on in life, it means that there are opportunities for you to move on. You just need to be aware enough to spot them and take them.
Jealousy and being envious never does you any good. Bitterness over someone achieving just eats you up. It’s like having poison in your system.
Your jealousy doesn’t affect them, just you. They’re moving on, they’re doing what it takes to move on. That’s positive.
What it also does, is it shows the jealous person their own inadequacies and that’s why they snipe, not because they’re angry at the person moving on, so much as they’re angry over either one of two things:
a) That the other person’s ‘luckier’ and getting the breaks that they aren’t
b) That deep down, they know that they’re not doing the things that can get them to move on. They’re really angry at themselves but rather than admit it they’ll snipe about the achiever.
And what can be surprising is that sometimes, the person doing the sniping can actually be in a better position already, than the person who is moving on.
I’ve noticed this on more than one occasion and in talking to someone about this turn of events, had it explained to me that it’s often because that person is in fear of losing what they’ve got and worried about being overtaken. I wasn’t sure about what they meant by that as it seemed such an odd way to be thinking.
He then went a stage further and explained that when you’re not well off financially, it’s easier to take a risk, after all, you don’t have so much to lose. And you’re more used to living without.
However, if you’re financially well off, sometimes, it’s the fear of losing what you’ve got. And with that comes the fear of how you’d cope if you lost everything. That fear makes it harder for them to cope with seeing someone moving up the monetary ladder.
They start to question themselves and wonder why the other person is moving on and why they’re not. And so they succumb to the same feelings that the jealous or envious person feels.
Jealousy is an insidious thing. It eats at you from the inside, and when you’re sniping about others moving on, it tells others about you. And it also makes people realise that if the jealous person is talking about that person, they’d talk about them as well! And so all in all, it’s going to hurt the jealous person socially as well because the people that aren’t jealous of others won’t want to be around you.
After all, it’s true that we become like the people we associate with. Hang around with thieves and sooner or later, you’ll become one too. That’s just one example.
I’m glad to say, I’ve never been jealous of people moving on. I love to see it. I’ve never been jealous of people who accumulate more and better stuff, be that cars, houses, clothes etc. It proves to me that moving on can still be achieved. What impresses me is what they did to achieve it.
If they can move on, so can I.
And that’s how I see it. We all love a David and Goliath story. But for me, it’s even better when it’s someone who I know personally.
It’s probably why I love Americans and Australians so much. They love an achiever. They applaud people moving on. And I’m all for a bit of ‘ra-ra!’
So I’m here to announce that you don’t have to wait until the 3rd round of the F.A. Cup to hope to see a giant-killing, to see the little team beat the big team.
Instead of talking about them behind their back, applaud their achievements. Tell your friends about them and what they’re doing. Become a cheerleader.
For starters, it’ll make you feel better. And as a bonus, people will also see what a nice person you are!
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