I’m a ‘heart on my sleeve’ kind of person. I can be read like a book. I’m highly emotional and I find it hard to keep my mouth shut when I’ve got something to say.
However, over the last year, I’ve been trying to keep it in check. It’s not the same for a lot of people on social media. They’ve been going at it with both guns blazing on numerous topics.
It’s hardly surprising when you consider what we’ve gone through, over the last few years.
Politicians now appear as though they don’t know where the middle ground is. They use all the emotion they can muster when they speak. It’s all ‘fear and anger’ as they use their “weapons of mass persuasion” (I read that term in a book a while back) to get you on their side.
And the upshot of that is that followers are as equally emotional. If you don’t agree with them you’re ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant’. They don’t want a calm discussion, it’s their way or not at all. It’s pretty much become vitriolic.
Sadly, it’s made for a world in which, freedom of speech is becoming impossible because now, people are seeming to lose the ability to see others point of view. What we’re now seeing are witch hunts.
It’s becoming poisonous, insidious and frankly, quite worrying.
We now have information coming at us quicker than it ever has, what with the internet and 24-hour news coverage. Information is coming at us thick and fast, but in amongst that isn’t always facts.
Media companies and politicians have their own agendas. Long gone are the days when newsreaders (there’s a hint about what their job description is in there), just read the news. Now they regale us with opinions and results of ‘focus groups data’. The trouble with the data is that the people conducting the survey are looking for a result that will back their thinking and are engineering their questions in a way that will get the replies they want.
And so on it goes with people taking hearsay and downright lies as facts. And in amongst it, you’ll find the facts, you just have to look a little harder to find them.
It’s no surprise that we are becoming angrier. Social media often looks like the school playground with people bullying and forcing their opinions on others as the fear and panic is spread from one to the other.
The world is changing and we are evolving. But the problem is that along with all the technology, it’s now easier for people to spread false information and pull people’s emotional strings.
Therefore, it’s up to us to take a step back, take a deep breath and stop diving into the middle of the affray.
It seems to me that now, more than ever, we’ve got to develop some self-control over our emotions.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got sick and tired of feeling angry, sick of feeling anxious as though the world is falling to pieces and people are getting nastier.
I made the decision to make some changes in my life this year.
I’ve not bought a newspaper in years and I no longer watch news programmes on the television. I used to be an ardent listener to talk radio, but knocked that particular form of listening on the head during the ‘Brexit’ debacle when I got totally fed up with presenters blatantly trying to force their opinions on others.
I love Social Media. In saying that, I’d left Twitter ages ago as I felt the platform was getting poisonous. Facebook, my number one go-to, is following that same route.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve gotten back in touch with so many people from my past and I’ve made a lot of friends on Facebook, I’d have quit that as well. But because I like being in touch, I’m still there.
I’d spent a lot of time unfriending people who were getting on my nerves. Some were people that until lately, I’d quite liked. But these last few years has shown a new side to some people. And as my Mum used to say, “You become like the people you associate with.”
I chose to no longer associate. It made my timeline and newsfeed feel a little less acidic. But it still wasn’t that much improved. I felt as though I was still getting wound up because of the amount of stuff on there and so I made the decision that if I wasn’t going to leave, then I’d spend less time on it.
And so in January, I made my life a no-Facebook zone from 10am until 3 in the afternoon. And immediately I saw benefits.
I didn’t realise how much time I spent there until I noticed how much more productive I became. As well as that, I’ve felt a lot less aggravated.
Don’t get me wrong. I still get wound up and can still fly off the handle as much as the next person. But I’ve decided that that I need to move away from that.
I need to take over the control of my emotions and my attitude and find strategies to help me keep myself on an even keel and live a happier life.
I suppose you could say I’ve decided that I need to grow up and stop getting wound up by other people. After all, I’m an adult. Well, I am in age.
It’ll take some doing. Being the emotional kind of man I am, I’ll need to start noticing when I’m starting to get wound up and take a step back to see why it’s happening. I’ll need to become more self-aware.
I’m learning to become more self-aware. I talked recently about attitude and how I started to take control of it. And that’s what’s needed because I can’t always control how I feel, but I can always control how I react to the feelings,
Another thing I have to do is to develop more social awareness. That way, instead of reacting to other’s behaviour. I’ll aim to see why their acting that way, work out why they’re feeling that way and react to it with empathy (that’ll be the hardest one!)
And then, even if we don’t agree, I can take their opinion on board. I don't have to agree, but I will be able to see where they're coming from. Hopefully then, as people, we can build from there without the arguments in a calmer, more adult way.
Because at the end of the day, for my own emotional well being, by trying to become a better me, I’ll learn better ways to control my own behaviours, and then my world will become a better place.
After all, the only person I can truly influence is me. And if can do that and make my life more harmonious, it’s got to be better than getting wound up over every piece of information that comes my way, instead of looking to pick holes in everyone else and end up on edge all the time.
It may be easier to argue and blame everyone else, but in the long run, it’s my life and for it to be a more enriching one, it’s really down to me to do everything I can in order to make it one.
As they say, “If you want to change some things in your life, you’ve got to change some things in your life.”
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